Showing posts with label being real. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being real. Show all posts

Monday, November 17, 2014

Finding the Old Door and a Lesson for Blogging

When I was placing furniture here in the kitchen sitting area I knew I wanted it to have the "feel" of my previous sunporch. The old sunporch was full of vintage pieces, each of them with aged and chippy white paint. Anything vintage felt at home out there, and it was one of my favorite places to decorate and photograph.



An old white paneled wood door that was angled in the corner sort of grounded the settee, and gave me a place for a mirror and seasonal wreath. I have sold so many of my favorite white chippy pieces, but I saved the door and wanted to use it again, and so after a week of searching the storage units, I found it in the back corner with my white metal gate and gray shutters. (Hmmmm...was Hubbs subconsciously hoping I'd forget about them?) That wasn't going to happen. Anyway, the new sitting room felt off balance and odd with that corner hanging out all bare behind the wicker settee. I just had to try that door. 



We brought it in to the kitchen and for a moment the "new" of the new house tried to tell me that it was too chippy and banged up and that it's old hinges would damage the walls and that it would scratch the hardwood floor. The "new" house said "it will look out of place and everyone will think you're nuts for having some old crummy door in your kitchen". But once it was in place, I knew it was back home where it should be.


My clay sheep's head and the old vintage oval frame are here for now. Maybe this will be a place that I can change things out seasonally. I'm still looking for the mirror and wreaths...



Now my settee has it's old partner again, and I can sit here and enjoy a cup of tea in the afternoon, or read through a magazine while dinner is on the stove. My quilts, coverlets, plaid blankets, and pillows all have their old spot back.


Just a little more time to enjoy the hooked pillows and warm Fall blankets. And then it will be Christmas time, and I'll get to change it all up again.






I'm learning that there can be a balance of the things we love. That living with and decorating with "vintage" things is my first love. Capturing a feeling or essence of what makes a home comfortable, enjoyed, and reminiscent of our past is what's more important to me. I've realized this last year how much I've missed documenting the Seasons and Holidays the way I used to. While I admire all the bloggers that can give you 6 ways to do this, or 5 ways to do that, I know that that's not the real me. Finding the right light to show a flame of a candle, a delicate flower of a paperwhite, or an old religious print, is what I'm more about.




Oh, I'll always have a project to share, a painted something or other, and my latest decor idea, but this last year having had most of my things packed away, I've learned where my heart really is in blogging... and that's right where I started. Be yourself, and blog about what you love. Don't cave to the pressure to turn yourself into something you're not comfortable with. Take a rest and find your joy in life. It will show.

I'll be joining these get togethers this week:

Dwellings
Coastal Charm
Cozy Little House
A Stroll Thru Life
Cedar Hill Farmhouse
Savvy Southern Style
Mrs. Olson's
From My Front Porch to Yours


xoxo,

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Whoops...we bought a house!

I know that the "whoops" part sounds silly,
 but that's exactly how I feel.

Last weekend we cleared the rest of the stuff out of the garage of the old house, and even though we haven't closed yet, I felt like we turned a page...started a new chapter...like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders. I've been waiting to start looking at houses, because we just didn't feel like it was the right time. The last thing I wanted to do was find a house and our other one not be sold. We've been busy and I've not felt 100% (shoot, I didn't even feel 50%) And we were "unsettled" in our hearts and minds about what we should do.




I started looking on the internet this week, and had a huge bucket of ice water thrown on me concerning house prices. We haven't looked at houses for 12 years and let's just say we had a rude awakening as to what's out there and the price you have to pay for it. yowsers. Our area has always been affordable, but this summer, houses are selling like proverbial hotcakes, and not having looked for over a decade, I was a little out of touch with the local housing market.



(I have no idea what that is on the mantle...?)

Matter of fact, it was down right depressing, of all the houses out there that needed tons of work in our price range. We could get a lot of space that came with lots of updates, or less space and newer with fewer updates, but then we have the issue of what we had left in our storage units...multiple storage units...as in many. We sold and gave away literally tons of stuff. But when we boil it all down, we just need to have a certain amount of space we feel comfortable in, and without it we both get whiny. He has his stuff, I have my stuff, and we don't like to trip over each other.

(This is the Dining Room and the stairway to the basement)


We spent an afternoon with our realtor making the rounds in the area we want to be in, (close to hubby's office) and were seeing house after house that just wasn't right. On a whim, we decided to go inside this one that we had seen as a drive by the night before. Hubby had grabbed a house info sheet and said he probably wasn't interested. The "distressed" shutters and front door effect just wasn't working for it. But the next day when we went inside we were more than pleasantly surprised.

The cabinets are pickled, but in need of a little more "pickle", so that's on my list of things to do. That's black granite on the countertops, which is really pretty, and a brand new stainless French Door fridge. So far I'm wondering where my white cabinets are and my dark hardwood floors I've been pinning on my Pinterest Boards... That glowy thing in the back is the microwave with a serious reflection from the windows. It has 11 ft. ceilings that make me feel like a munchkin, and a finished walkout basement. It really is a wonderful house.




OK, I have to tell you, light woods are not my first pick, but I wanted newer and white woodwork, and the funny thing was that when we walked in the front door my husband evidently heard angels singing and saw the clouds part. He was for sure that this was it. what...? He just doesn't get excited over houses...never...ever. I was ready to pace ourselves, keep looking, and stay current with new listings. But not Hubbs, he was fired up and ready to start negotiating. So negotiate he did and by the end of the day yesterday we signed up for another mortgage and the whole nine yards. go figure. 



We won't close until the end of next month, but I have to say I'm relieved that this house looking process was about as painless as it could be. We have a few repairs to do, some yard clean up, and painting the shutters and front door. I may need some ideas from you all on that.

God has blessed us for sure...

I took tons of photos today, but we were in a hurry and I didn't bring my tripod so they weren't the best. These are just a peek, so you can get a little idea of what it's like. I'm making steady progress with the new medication and have another appointment in a couple of weeks. So maybe by next month I'll be doing even better. I'm more than ready to be "settled". I'm super excited and my head is swimming with ideas. 

Gotta tell you, I'm looking forward to having some pumpkins on those steps, people. Hurry up Fall, 

linking up with:
Sundays at Home with Thoughts from Alice
Amaze Me Monday at Dwellings
Show and Share at Coastal Charm
Tweak it Tuesday at Cozy Little House
Inspire Me Tuesday at A Stroll Thru Life
The Scoop at Cedar Hill Farmhouse
Wow Wednesday at Savvy Southern Style
xoxo,

Sunday, July 6, 2014

This is me...


oh yeah, someone's a little lazy this weekend.
that would be me...
I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that I don't have to have surgery...
The bad news is that I won't be having surgery...at least not now.





The main thing I'd been praying for was an accurate confirmed diagnosis from my new doctors, and that we would have communication about what needed to be done. I had the heart cath and angiogram on Wednesday, and learned even more about my health situation. That the aneurysm was still small, that the part of my heart that is dead (non functioning) isn't causing any major risks right now, that I have two main arteries that are not functioning optimally, and another artery has been completely blocked from blood flow because of a previous stent placement. Now I have a picture and a reason for all my chest pain. Poor blood flow to major areas of my chest. One doctor labeled my heart mess as "complicated", the other as "tricky"...

great...




Short and sweet...just not bad enough to risk an open heart surgery, again. Only problem is that I'm still left with the daily pain of angina. I have to admit, when the cardiovascular surgeon realized my problems were not posing any immediate threats, (thank you, Lord) and he felt like the benefit at this time would not justify the risk, I was disappointed. I had hoped that surgery would solve my problems, but the doctor doing the heart cath explained that basically our bodies can only handle two of those major surgeries, and that right now would not be the time.

So I'm back to square one...

How to minimize the pain, and get some strength and stamina back. First thing is trying to find some meds that will accomplish this. There are lot's of heart medications out there, so the new cardiologist is trying to put together a plan that will better open up those vessels and give me the ability back to be more active and productive. Hard to have a life when you're in constant pain. It seems that I have small arteries and that added to the poor condition of them, make for problems.




I'm on a new to me drug that seems to be helping and I'm hoping that it will prove to be a way to take care of some of this without all the trauma of open heart surgery. And trying to be optimistic, I'm going to start cardiac rehab that will work on trying to get some strength back, which also helps regrow smaller arteries and veins for circulation.

So now you know more than you ever wanted to know about me and my wacky heart problems...

And I'm relieved that I don't have to spend the summer recuperating from major surgery. Now, to get the house sold so we're out from under that element of stress.

I feel like I've lost a year of my life because my previous cardiologist didn't have the time or desire to sit down long enough and listen to what I was saying. When doctors don't listen, neglect to tell you what's going on or what they have done, or be willing to look at options, we as patients can find ourselves in a boatload of confusion and poor health. Things could have been radically different if he had just taken the time to "think outside the box" and prescribe some different meds. I'm thankful that I've found a woman cardiologist who puts her patient's well being and future before a beeper and a busy schedule.

'nuff said.

I'm hoping that this is the last of the "woe is me" updates.

Here's to getting my life back...

love you guys, thanks so much for all your prayers and love.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Summer candlelight








the ones that care about what's happening to me in life, and that I don't have to "entertain" and impress. Thank you, to all of you who care about the person behind the blog, and that realize that sometimes,  "Life Happens", and it's not always about pretty pictures, lovely houses, and the latest and greatest. (although, we all still love that too!)


Before I tell you about my week, I want to tell you about these wonderful (I have two) little beeswax candles that I ordered along with a bee skep for my baker's rack. I had been feeling pretty down and these were waiting for me when we arrived home. I'll share the bee skep soon, but thought this little vintage floral saucer said "Summer" right along with a sheet of vine-y greens from my wallpaper sample books. 



(gosh, I love wallpaper, but get tired of one particular pattern too soon)



 The order contained this little tied herb bundle 
and some cinnamon wax melts. 
heavenly...



I have two sets of these cups and saucers,
 but the other's must be packed away...somewhere.



















Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Closer Look... at Life

I haven't shared much that's been going on with the move in detail, because, number one, it has been such a major ordeal, and number two, I'm trying let go of the old house and some of my ways of thinking. It goes way beyond "downsizing", but I haven't been able to share all that with you until now. My health is what has precipitated this move, (most of you know that I have had heart issues stemming from an hereditary problem) as the house and property are more than my hubby and I want to deal with now. We need a fresh direction in life.

This move has been one of the toughest things I've had to do in years. I think it's because I have still been having problems with my heart which I haven't discussed much since last Fall, (I'll fill you in later in the post) and because of that, I can't do what I want to do. So much frustration when you can't do the things you used to do, and now have to have someone else do them for you.




God has been at work through all this, giving me the ability to get the house packed and arranging for things to be sold. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so He has sent people my way to make it easier. This last week, on short notice, He sent my sister and her hubby, my mom, and then a dear friend that is in the junk biz to organize the garage sale, and then haul off all the leftovers. My husband wanted me to forego a sale and just donate it all, but it's been therapeutic in many ways and part of the process of me letting go... and moving forward.



It's not that I'm having a problem with selling the old house, because I'm really looking forward to a new home. We've been talking about what we want and need, and I'm confident that it will be wonderful, and that we'll have a "place" for all that we've stored away. It's just that this has been so long and drawn out; a painful process, in many ways. We know this is a year of transition for us, and transition isn't always easy or "pretty".



I just feel like now is the time I need to be a little more transparent about what's been going on with me personally, healthwise, without being a big bummer for you all. I have an appointment with a new cardiologist in St. Louis that I'll be seeing next month. I cannot tell you how long overdue this is. My current cardiologist, is not a specialist in the area that right now I'm desperately needing counsel in. Because he isn't a specialist, he doesn't see the importance in guiding me to get the help that I need.



I don't like drama and innuendo; leaving people guessing, so I'll get graphic for a moment to explain what all this is about. Last August I knew something was very wrong, I started feeling horrible and had pain that I hadn't had before. After a heart catheterization, a large blood clot was removed that was blocking my stent and we realized I'd actually had another heart attack, and because of the prolonged situation, I had had an aneurysm that had burst and bled out into the surrounding heart tissue. Also that the tip (apex) of my heart is now dead. non functioning. A left ventricular aneurysm is tricky at best, and most people die from this immediately. I had God's hand on me and and He saved my life once again, but now I have a condition that is controversial. 90% of cardiologists know it's a necessity to have reconstructive surgery, or heart "remodeling" where they take out the dead tissue. Otherwise you're a ticking time bomb for having a rupture of the dead tissue pulling away from the living viable tissue. The mortality rate is high, but some doctors prefer to just leave it alone. Problem is that most people that have this are elderly and are in congestive heart failure. I'm not either of these, and I desperately want to have my life back.

So I'm going to see a specialist at Barnes in St. Louis where they have a team of doctors who all they do is aneurysm repair. I'm not worried and I'm confident that they have answers for me, one way or another. I'm looking for an honest assessment of my situation and hope that surgery can put right most of the problems I've had this last year. (Blood clots and a lot of debilitating pain) It will be worth going through open heart surgery again, to be feeling better, and more on track with life in general.




As for these pics of thread... I have had an old sewing machine cabinet of my paternal grandmother's that I knew was time to sell. I have had it over 40 years, and it's traveled all over the US, but now was when it needed to go. I went through the drawers and found a stash of my grandmother's threads and needles, and pulled them out to keep. I also found this wonderful old Meakin Ironstone bowl that I had buried in one of my garage tubs. I love handling the old wooden spools that my grandmother used, and feel a dear connection in them.










Miss Jenkins always has to be close by,
 and if she can be in the photo, then all the better.


The thought of my grandmother using them, their age,
 and subtle mellowed shades, bring tranquility, peace, and calm. 


I'll share more with you in the next weeks as we finish up the house and get it on the market. I know that God's timing is perfect, and I know He is in control of my life and health. He has the buyer for our home, and is planning our new one, too. There are many factors that will have to come together to see His plan come to fruition, but I'm confident that it will. He's never let me down before, so we take each day, knowing He is leading and guiding us.


God has been requiring me to take a closer look at life...
at my life.
To get it all in focus, and to appreciate the smallest thought and gesture;
and to be grateful for all the people he uses to help and walk with us.



I've learned over the years, that if I follow His lead, He not only takes care of all the details, but blesses many people through the "process". And I'm learning that no experience should be wasted or discounted. Life is indeed a process, and I'm believing that there will be answers and justification coming.




As for blogging, I'll be putting the link parties on hiatus, I hadn't meant to stop so soon, but I know now is the time, This week will be the last "Be Inspired" for a while. Anyone that hosts a party knows that it's a lot of responsibility and takes several hours at least to do it right each week. I'll still be blogging, but it will be when I have something to share that's an inspiration to all of you, and then I'll be letting you know how things are going. There have been days where I'm in bed with a boatload of medications...I just can't keep up any longer, especially with this last push on the house business.  I'll keep you filled in. Please know that I hold all of you closely, and enjoy your posts and find the inspiration a daily infusion of joy. I can sit at my computer and get lost in another place. It's important to do this for as long as I can.


I just felt that it was time to share what's going on. I don't like keeping things hidden, and because all of you are considered as friends, I knew now was the time to share all this. You know how much I need your prayers and good thoughts coming. I'll still be here, I'm not closing things down, just knowing now's the time to make some changes. See you Thursday morning...love you all, 

joining in at Savvy Southern Style

                                                           

Sunday, January 12, 2014

knowing the right time...

Just wanted to check in with everyone, since my last post was on Thursday morning. We picked up the keys to the new "little house" Friday afternoon. Funny that I'm calling it "the little house". When hubbs and I first were married we lived in a gardener's cottage on my parents property...we called it "the little house".  This would be a mansion in comparison to our tiny first house. Just one big room with a little bedroom that was heated with an old time gas heater. We were so happy: we didn't care where we lived.




We did a walk-thru Friday and realized that the carpets had not been cleaned so we spent most of the day Saturday over there doing that. I've said it before and I'll say it again, gotta have my Bissell Carpet Cleaner. It's saved the day on more than one occasion. We should have been here packing, but I have a pet peeve about dirty floors...'nough said.




I had to show these pics of one of my sweet birdies that I've been feeding during all the ice and snow of the last two weeks. I grabbed the camera and caught these. The setting is off, but I wanted to share them with you, anyway. The snow is almost melted and we're supposed to have a 60 degree afternoon...yay! Anyway, I kept seed out for the little guys (Juncos and Sparrows) and some ornery squirrels, it was grand central all day around the feeders. I'm going to miss these little guys, but then again, I'll be at this house a lot because we still have packing and sorting and getting ready for a sale to do. We'll be back and forth working at both houses. Our new house is a temporary one, we have a year's lease, but we hope to have some set plans by then. 




Do you ever have an understanding of God's timing? It's hard to put into words, but I know you know what I mean. By our own thinking this wouldn't be the right timing to take a big step. Hubbs had inner ear surgery for Meniere's Disease, (he's much much better) in April, and I've had several rounds in the hospital with blood clots in my arteries next to my heart (I'm better too)...not a good time to plan several moves. But we just knew that the timing was now to get started with this transition...moving into a smaller lease house, getting rid of some of the "stuff" that's been cluttering up our lives. We had a flea market business for about 8 years, and during those years too much "stuff" came home with us. We knew that now was the time to lighten up and get freed up of some things...for some new things. Not just material; but emotional, and spiritual baggage that has held us in one place for awhile. We're starting to feel like this little bird...

This is the scripture verse that has been the center of my thoughts this last week.


Version: RSV
Isaiah 40:28-31

28. Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable. 29. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. 30. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; 31. but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.



...have a good Sunday.

Joining in here:

Inspire Me at A Stroll Thru Life
The Scoop at StoneGable



xoxo,

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