Looking forward...

If you happened to read my post "2013: The Year in Review", you know I had some news about what's coming early in the New Year. If you didn't catch it then, here goes...

One thing I've learned in my Spiritual walk is not to spend too much time revisiting the past. God keeps us continually growing and moving. Maybe not always in the physical sense, but allowing Him to change and challenge us, is part of His plan for our life. He always has a plan that is for the "good"; sometimes it's hard to see exactly how that works, especially if we are hanging on too tightly to the past. So I'm looking forward, and not focusing on the past, except to take some wonderful memories, and times of blessing with me.

My husband and I have known for at least two years that there would come a day when we would need to downsize and be in a more manageable home. We live in a wooded area and have a pool, both of which need to have a young family to take care of the maintenance. My husband is thinking about retirement and this is not the place to do that. 

So after months of prayer and waiting we've taken the first step toward our goals and have leased a smaller house so that we can move in and get settled, then take the time to have some updates made to this house before we put it on the market. We need to lighten up and thin out our load of "stuff". I'm actually excited to be in a place where I don't have to yell at my husband to find him, and that I don't have to spend all day watering flowers and shrubs in the heat of the summer.

(Aren't these plaid tea towels adorable?

 My mom made these for me for Christmas with her new Monogram machine.) 

Now comes the part that I don't like even a little bit,

and that's the sorting and purging and packing.

(I mentioned earlier that I ordered 80 Paperwhite bulbs this year, so it's kind of a sea of Paperwhites around here. The ones below are planted in recycled candle jars. This is one of my problems...I hate to throw perfectly good "things" away, when there might be a way to reuse them later.)

This year will be a year of change, and right now we are heading for the first move. Hopefully, after this house sells we'll be able to start thinking about buying another home or building one. As much as I love the character of an older home, my husband and I both know we want and need new construction. I grew up in a 1840's farmhouse and it was cold and hot and unpredictable at best. 

We can't see the "big picture" here, except to know that God has called us out of this place and is asking us to be ready to move forward with whatever he asks us to do. Being "available" to God is what I've always been about. I don't want to miss out on the good plan for our future in any way. If it looks a little scary and overwhelming, then I'm trusting God to give us daily direction and wisdom. He sees the big picture so to speak, when I can only see what's right in front of me.

I'm still planning on blogging, but it may change up just a little. I had to crop out boxes and packing materials just to get these photos today. I'll keep you updated on how things are going, and you may even see some of the day-to-day work going on around here. Can you stand wading through cabinets filled with vintage decor and sorting my stash of magazines? My posts may be shorter, but you'll be with me through it all. As I said in the Review post, I consider this more of a "lifestyle" blog than a decor blog. It may not be all pretty pictures, but it will be "real life"...and right now I need to stay connected with you all through this blog. Hope you'll stick with me while we take on this new year of change, and blessing. 

sharing at:

French Country Cottage

Rooted in Thyme

Shabby Art Boutique

The Charm of Home

Wishing all of you a wonderful New Year.

love y'all bunches,

Today's Sponsor

Elliott-Heath Designs

Thank You, Artful Blogging

There is something about seeing your own photos and words in print that cannot be explained. Years of sharing my heart with all of you, sort of "condensed" into a few pages of a beautiful magazine. I was included in the latest issue of this wonderful publication, and I have to say that it was one of the harder things for me to do. The words flowed freely as I wrote the article, but I needed to share intimate thoughts on my life and health.

Artful Blogging is more than pretty pictures,

 it takes a look into the soul of the blogger.

Life is rarely "easy", 

but it's how we walk the road that makes the difference.

Also...

If you haven't yet purchased your copy of Kerryanne's 

latest Shabbilicious Magazine Christmas Edtition

just Click Here

Thank you, Kerryanne,

 for featuring my home at Christmas!

Hope you're having a wonderful Sunday,

xoxo,

Checking in...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm back home...

image via

and that I'm so glad to be here.

... but, I can safely say that the last few days rank pretty low in the "Fun Ways to Spend Your Week" category.  The heart catheterization and angiogram should be considered successful, in that we found that I did have two major artery blockages that were 99% occluded, and that the only way I was still here was the fact that I had been taking nitroglycerin every few hours since last week just to keep the arteries in my heart dilated. While I'm going through something I never want to talk about how bad it is, but now that it's in the rear view mirror I can look back and say "Holy C_ _p!, that was a close one." (please pardon my French) 

Then on top of the physical trauma of having yet one more stent put in and another artery being "roto-rooted", (too small for a stent) being pumped full of 3 times the normal amount of drugs for the test, pain killers, and every other piece of junk drug they can throw at you, I was sick all day yesterday retching, my body naturally trying to get it all out.

Right now I'm just trying to find my footing in all of this. I've been sitting here this morning at my computer going back through my photo files of the last few years. That always helps me see where I've been and know where I want to be going. Do you know what I mean..? I'm not just talking decorating photos or projects, but where my head and heart are, what I love to be doing, and seeing the priorities in my life. I know it won't take me long until I'm "back". I'm already itching for September when I can safely put out my pumpkins and bittersweet. So I know that "the real me" is still here underneath this "event" that has just happened to me.

I know that so many of us, by the time we reach middle age, have had life altering events, illnesses or tragedies, broken marriages, or family relationship problems. Not many of us are exempt from "life". I know it's all in how we approach it and our mental, emotional and spiritual strength. I know that if it weren't for God's hand of intervention 11 years ago I would have been dead then, so I thank Him every day for the extra time I've been given.

OK, now that I have all that out, I want to say thank you so much for all the love and prayers that came to me from you all. I had tears in my eyes through each sweet and supportive comment. you all are the best. thanks for being there and for your honest care and concern. This may sound superficial and silly in light of all that I've been through, but I never celebrated my 4th blog anniversary and I've had a really wonderful give away planned for quite awhile, so hopefully I can celebrate with you all...hopefully this next week. That might be a good way to get back in the swing of things...a little celebration. I think I can use one about now.

lots of love to you all,

A little Fall inspiration and a Message

Thought I'd share a few images from my Pinterest Boards with you today. I've been going through my magazines and Pinterest looking for some Fall inspiration. I always get excited when Autumn approaches, it always invigorates me mind and body. Since it's a little early for tons of Pumpkins, I found a few others with some apple inspiration instead. If you'd like to repin any of these please browse through my boards,  Fall Decor and Fall Gardens and Porches,to find them there. (Please scroll down to the end of the post first)

Then I have something to share with you...

Those of you who have been with me for awhile may know that I have a hereditary heart condition, and that most of the time I don't have many symptoms or problems. I absolutely hate talking about it here on the blog because in my mind it makes me feel like I'm "old and worn out". I'm not a whiner or a complainer so I put it on the back burner and try to forget about it publicly. But I know deep down that it's just something that I have to deal with, and since I try to be real with you all, not talking about it would be insincere.

The truth is that I have had 3 major heart attacks 10 years ago and open heart surgery when I was an energetic, healthy, and vibrant person. I had no symptoms to speak of other that my stress level was a 15 on a scale of 1-10. Since then I've had another stent put in for a blockage and have an ongoing situation called microvascular disease. This is something that's more common in women which causes high levels of angina, (chest pain) that is a result of smaller vessels not getting good blood flow.

So, now to the present. I noticed a few weeks ago the pain level was increasing, but I thought it might just be due to being more active in the summer, swimming and working in the yard. But over these last ten days my medications haven't been working and now I'm at a place where I have to find out what's going on. I have a high pain threshold and I can outlast an attack that normally would send someone to the ER. (not a good idea).

I'm seeing my cardiologist today and I imagine I'll end up in the hospital for tests and another stent. I'm not worried, because I've been through this before, and I know God is taking care of me and that He is totally in charge of all this. I just needed to tell all of you. And being honest, I need to take a few days to rest. I had my posts done up for the rest of the week, but since I'm not going to cover this up, I felt like I should just postpone things a bit. I'll check in with you when I'm back and let you all know what's going on.

I love you guys, you all are some of the sweetest, dearest people in the world. Your friendships are real and treasured. So I'd sure appreciate your prayers today and this week. You'll hear from me soon.

xoxo,

Sentiments

I hope you're having a glorious Mother's Day,

and that you've had the opportunity to have spent time with your children.

Last night as we were having dinner with our younger daughter and her husband, in between laughter and our usual lighthearted conversation, memories of her childhood came forth. We reminisced about her youth, and ultimately landed on "parenting skill" differences between my husband's and my generation, to the current trends in parenting.

Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks that God puts before us, and most of us have had to learn as we go. When I had my girls, I was almost 23 and then 27, but unfortunately I had no skill set, nor my husband, on how to do the appropriate job. There weren't any classes to be found at our local church, no internet help videos, few books, and no support groups. As young adults we had to fend for ourselves. As much as we love our own parents, they weren't always any more gifted with wisdom for parenting than we were. Not that we came from "dysfunctional" families, but when it gets down to it, I think most families have their own bouts with dysfunction.

I've made many mistakes with our girls, but thankfully they love me in spite of my faults and lack of knowledge. They were both adults when I finally allowed God to truly lead and transform my thinking in life.

You know the old phrase from that famous movie, "Love means never having to say you're sorry"...well, for lack of a better description, it's a total lie.

Sometimes we have difficulty in putting ourselves in our children's "shoes". We lack sensitivity and insight into their precious mind's and heart's, and in our own frustration and lack of understanding we can make choices that are hurtful and damaging...without our knowing it. One thing God impressed upon me heavily was to be able to admit to my children my own mistakes, and to ask for their forgiveness for ways they might not have felt justified or have been hurt. Their "perception" of circumstances might be very different from our own as parents, but just as valid.

Saying "I'm sorry", has a way of mending broken relationships, and is a good first step to open dialogues, no matter how old your children may be. My husband and I come from a generation where punishment was sometimes physically harsh, and fostered negative feelings for years. Sometimes, an "I love you", needs to be accompanied with the words, "and if I've hurt you in any way, I'm sorry."

That's one of God's great desires for families; that we have relationship with our children and parents, and that we always take the time and effort to see things from their perspectives. The ability to be open and honest with our children is just as important as honesty between spouses. Asking God for His daily leading and guidance can make for better parenting skills and happier families.

If there are voids in your relationships with your children, for whatever reason, I know that God can heal all wounds and hurts. Our Heavenly Father is the best parent we can have. If you as adults, have fractures in your family I'm just reminding you, that God can heal those hurts, and make things right. Even if the other person is unreachable. God has powerful ways to love us, and His love conquers all.

 Our two precious daughters...

love them so much.

Sharing at these parties:

Amaze Me Monday at Dwellings

Wow Us Wednesdays at Savvy Southern Style

Just sharing a little from my heart today and

sending love and Mother's Day blessings,

The Year that was...2012

I always love putting up the new calender and exchanging it for the old. Fresh and clean with no pen marks, red lettering, strike thrus, or smudges. A blank slate for optimism, hope, and a fresh start. Looking back on the past year is requisite; something that we inevitably do in life. It's a time to reflect on our accomplishments, things that have changed and evolved, but also a time to see where we are heading and taking inventory of our own personal lives.

A header that I made but never used, 

this image just speaks volumes to me about life.

Hallway bath repaint in late January and February.

A start on lightening up my walls and surroundings.

Looking back on this last year I didn't feel like I had accomplished very much. This has been one of those years that even though there have been many good things, over all it's one I would rather not have had to walk through. My New Year's wish, instead of resolutions, is always said with a hopeful and optimistic prayer, that this next year will be a better one than the last...

realistically, that doesn't always happen.

Immediately after the bath refresh came the Living Room RePaint.

What a huge difference in my daily frame of mind.

There's just something about a clean white wall

that visually and emotionally "lightens the load".

Within a week I was on to the Master Bedroom,

and my quest for the perfect shade of "greige".

I had realized that the darker colors I had loved 9 years ago were causing me to feel overpowered and claustrophobic. Sort of like the walls were closing in on me. It all had to go and this was the last bastion of dark and "heavy".

I still wake up everyday feeling the freshness of this change.

With the old darker color I was getting tired of all the dark wood,

 but once the paint was changed, I looked at it differently.

The bedroom RePaint ended the major projects of last year.

It was late Spring when my world needed to refocus.

(a few small projects like the trompe l'oeil print on canvas)

My new slipcovers for the Dining Room chairs were a huge success.

They got to put on a new "dress".

Joy, oh Joy!!!

and then the Dining Room became my "happy place".

June brought one of the highlights of my year;

getting to spend a week with this gal.

and then heading up to St. Louis 

to share a weekend with Elizabeth Maxson,

our dear and precious mutual friend.

After this trip, projects became few and far between,

but I managed to play a little with some fun Fall decor.

My favorite time of the year;

but then I've said that a gazillion times.

But this next photo sums it all up...

this guy.

I haven't talked about it too much here on this blog, but he's the center of my life. God has placed him there to love, trust, and to take care of me. I like to say that my hubby is the "pole" to my "tether ball". I may be hit and bounce around every which direction, but my guy is always the stable, unmoving, center of my life. Ten years ago I had 3 massive heart attacks and almost died. After that, our lives changed. We both had a wake up call to the important things in life...like waking up every day with those that you love still here. But this year he was the one with health challenges and I was the one that had to be strong for him. He was the one feeling like he was walking on quicksand...and I had to be the one that was immovable and unshakable. 

Without God as my strength, we would have been flailing. 

For several years he'd been having occasional attacks of vertigo, then they started becoming an everyday occurrence that changed everything. He's just never been "sick". Oh, you know occasionally a bout with the flu, but nothing serious. Last summer started a journey to not give up, but to seek God for guidance in a place of uncertainty. Tests, doctors, more tests, more doctors...I know that many of you have been through something similar. If it's not you or your husband, it's our kids or loved ones. It takes everything out of you, but then with God's help, He fills you up with His Spirit, His outlook, His Word. 

Fast forward six months and we've been seeing a specialist in St. Louis for Meniere's Disease. It's a tough one, with no cure (they say). We had no help in our area, only a fatalistic litany of defeat for the future. But we were not going to roll over and play dead with this...we faced it head on and now we are seeing positive results. He's not over it, but he's improving significantly. 

So many of you out there know people that are dealing with this life changing condition. The first thing we did was radically change our diet. no salt. Actually, we had to rethink our whole outlook on eating and how inevitably it defines our health, and then eventually, our life. Meniere's is basically the inner ear deteriorating to the point that fluid cannot be regulated so you feel dizzy, nauseated, like your head is under water (filled with water) and dreadful...most of the time. Can't drive, can't eat, can't walk with confidence...can't think straight. OK, I won't dwell on this, but let me tell you there are options out there that work. You don't have to live with this...it CAN get better. 

As with any illness, or life changing circumstance we've learned that there IS hope. God has a good plan for our lives and He has answers that no man does. not doctors, not ourselves, not our friends...He's the one with the way to make things change.

So if you thought that my posts had changed, well, they had. I had changed. I am changed. Walking through something life altering has a way of changing a person. Hopefully, for the better, but still changed. My Bible Study blog went on "hold", because I couldn't concentrate on much other than getting through each day with my husband. Encouraging him became my priority. But as I said earlier, what I lacked in output, I gained with God's "input". If we let circumstances defeat us, there is no "lesson". I want to learn all the lessons I can from God. Don't ever go through a "problem" without seeking God for something deeper to be given you.

I know this has been long, but now seemed like the time to share it all. If I haven't commented, please know that I haven't meant to slight any of you, there have just been days that I didn't have it in me. Thanks for hanging in there with me. I love you all; you have become such a big part of my life. I'm still here, just different. But still believing for a better year.

My prayer for each of you this year

 is for you to stay strong, seek God, love without limits.