Saturday, June 18, 2011

being real




You all are just the best; the sweetest, most loving and thoughtful people that any person could ask for as friends. I literally had tears fall as I read all your comments from my last post. Thank you so much for your concern and prayers. Time to share what's been going on in my life for the last 8 years. I'll try to "make a long story short"-er.

My dad had cardiovascular disease and died from it ten years ago. I had my first heart attack when I was 49 years old; three in fact, in one weekend. I hadn't had any discernible symptoms beforehand. I had what I thought was a pinched nerve in my right arm. I never imagined you could have pain like that. It felt like my arm was being ripped off. Three of these episodes starting on a Friday afternoon, and ending with me in the ER on a Monday morning at 6:30 am.

Here's my backstory.
One thing you may or may not know about me is that I have a deep "call" from God for ministry. I have since I was a teenager, and then again as an adult in my early 40's. I've worked with women's ministries, teaching and writing Bible Studies. I call them, "not your mother's Bible Studies", but down to earth, real life, nitty gritty. Where women can talk about "whatever" and "everything" without feeling judged. I've worked with everyday moms and housewives to addicts of all kinds...and everyone in between.

So, after three major heart attacks, I was pronounced to be lucky that I was alive, but had a huge aneurysm that was inoperable. My doctor told me that I could sneeze and die.
great news to hear.

this was 8 and 1/2 years ago.

I had a stent put in and was being readied to be sent home to wait for the inevitable. My response to the doctor was that I appreciated the information, but I was going to stand in my conviction that God was in charge of my life and I had a gut knowing that I didn't have to worry; God would heal me.

The end of that week in the hospital, they did more tests and the aneurysm wasn't to be found.
this was documented,
logged,
on the record.
in my chart.
My doctor shook his head and agreed it could only be God.

But by the end of the month the stent had failed and my artery had collapsed. I spent a week in the hospital while I waited for open heart surgery. A triple bypass... at 49... 115 lbs., non-smoker, good diet...but lot's of stress and a family tree that was flawed.

My dear brother died at age 44, with a heart attack in the exact same spot, just one year after my first heart attack.

Fast forward six years,
more stress,
menopause,
and another near heart attack, with another stent.

And in the last two years I've had constant chest pain. They call it stable angina, because it's non life-threatening...just constant pain. not debilitating, but troublesome and noticeable, like a bad headache or a toothache.

sometimes hard to focus on other things.

Nothing "stable" about it.

It messes with your head, your emotions, your relationships, and it can try to mess with your faith.
That one has been the toughest part.

I've had to juggle multiple medications, add, subtract, try something new.
be sick.
be mad.
be humbled.
be fearful.

All while trusting God,
believing God,
having faith in God.
loving God.
waiting for God...

It's gotten worse since Mother's Day weekend, when I had a bad dizzy spell and woke up to pain twice as bad and resistant to medication than before. We've been trying increased medication, but the doctor finally decided that it was time to do another heart cathaterization (angiogram) to find out if there was a blockage or not.
not a fun procedure.

nothing had changed.

no blockage...which is good.
but I'm still left with pain that is basically not going away.

there are times I'd like to just give all my junk away and walk away from it.
but I enjoy that part of my life.
I'm working on paring down, and to get my life where it needs to be.

so, here I am...
still loving life.
grateful,
and determined not to be labeled or "defined" by this situation.

I love blogging,
and I'll do it as long as God has a purpose for it.
I've made deep friendships; ones that I pray go beyond the computer and a pretty picture.
You all enrich my life.
I hope I bring something of value to each of you.

I may not be able to respond one on one to each of you,
but just know,
I know who you are,
I know what you've said,
and I love you.

D

88 comments:

  1. Oh, wow....God is certainly sitting on your shoulder. if only he would ease your pain...I will send some requests for you!
    Your blog has touched me. I hope you enjoy each day! XO

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  2. You don't EVER have to respond or comment back to me my friend. I'm always here reading and taking in your passions and your witness. If you can chat back or comment back, wonderful. If not that is fine, too. I blog because I love it... Even though comments are encouraging and I love them (who wouldn't?), the reason I do what I do is because this is what I'm suppose to be doing right now with my life. I know it like I know my own name.

    That said~

    Prayers going up for you for the pain to subside and for the gentle peace of God to flow over you like soft rain. He has a purpose for all things. Going thru the fire is not fun...not for the faint of heart. But, doing so refines us and makes us stronger. You know all that... It has been YOU that has shared that very thing with all of us.

    Thinking of you...loving you~

    Rebecca

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  3. So sorry that you have this health condition. I KNOW what it is like to wake up each day, realizing that I am no longer what I used to be...sometimes with anger, frustration,but thankfulness. It is hard and I know it. I hope you get relief from some of the pain...good to hear from you.

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  4. I am speechless....I sometimes get caught up in my "problems" & think I am put-upon until I read what some of my blogging friends have to live with. In spite of it all just think how close God has drawn himself to you......
    Prayers are with you always!
    Love, Marilyn
    If you get a chance come over to my blog as I am having a Southern Belle Giveaway.......

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  5. I'm so sad for your ordeal. Bless you Brenda. Love, J.

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  6. "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;" Romans 12:12 These are the words I live by everyday. You are here for a reason Debra. Though we have never met I can feel the warmth and sincerity in your post and emails. My prayers are with you. I pray that God takes away the pain, and that you continue to inspire us for a long time.
    Blessings,
    Rosemary

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  7. Wow is all I can say, and that I am keeping you in my prayers, hope you are doing well, for today, hugs

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  8. I am holding you in my thoughts, Debra. You have endured much and with so much grace.

    xo
    Claudia

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  9. You are a brave and blessed woman Debra! Whenever I have a twinge of self pity, I'm going to think of you and your wonderful outlook on life. May God continue to watch over you for a very long time.

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  10. Sorry to hear you are having to deal with all this. (((hugs)))

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  11. Thinking of you....you are beautiful with a beautiful soul....blessings

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  12. Dear Debra... please know how much I care about you... you are a constant source of inspiration, not just your photos and blog stories, but your faith, courage, sense of humor, and feelings for everyone whose lives you touch... I am a firm believer in the power of prayer and will continue to pray for you, that your pain goes away and you get some peace of mind as well... much love to you sweet lady... xoxo Julie Marfie

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  13. I'm here. I will ALWAYS be here.
    Ain't goin' nowhere, nope.

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  14. What can I say that others have not already said. Thank you for being open and sharing yourself with us in so many ways. Thank you for being an instrument of God's love to so many.
    God smiles at your perseverance, and your love for Him, and others. He rejoices over you with singing.

    Thank you for blessing us all by just being you!!!

    Lord, I pray for moments of relief from pain for Debra. I pray that you would continue to use her in her every day walk with you. Thank you for the blessing she is to us. Thank you that you are a loving and caring God, who walks with us each step of the way. I pray your grace and peace over Debra, and freedom from any fear she has because of this. Praise you Father. Amen.

    Hugs, and blessings to you sweet lady.

    Barbara Jean

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  15. You are an amazing woman and we will be praying for you!

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  16. You are in my prayers! And I agree with all the others 150% you are one amazing beautiful lady!
    Tammy
    Junk Wild

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  17. I'm still praying for you Debra, my sister had a heart condition in March and her doctor wanted her siblings and children to be checked to see if it was genetic. I went and was checked and the tests all came out good, before I went to the appt. that day I posted for some of you to pray for me...prayer works, I'm such a firm believer that He hears us when we pray! I'll keep praying that He can somehow ease the pain for you!

    Rondell

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  18. I'm keeping you in my prayers, Debra! Satan tries to use these illnesses and medical concerns to bring us down and consume us with fear, but we can demand with confidence that he leave us because the blood of Jesus has already overcome the troubles of this world! May God's peace that surpasses all understanding be with you.
    Blessings,
    Megan

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  19. WHAT a story,
    dear Deborah.
    Stay strong,
    sweet friend!
    So many kind
    souls are out
    here, rooting
    for you!!!
    xx Suzanne

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  20. Your faith is amazing. Isn't it wonderful that you can get through anything with faith? I know God will keep you here as long as He needs you to be, so you can enrich so many people's lives. And inspire us all. I hope that you can have peace with you, and angels surround you.
    Erin
    alittlesomething2.blogspot.com

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  21. My dear kindred sister, love you. Hugs Mary

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  22. Oh my sweet friend, now my heart is hurting for you. But our God IS a might God and no doubt I will be just one in a long line of prayer warriors.

    I took a poll yesterday on my blog and you might be interested in reading the results. I have been MAJORLY stressing about not responding to comments and it seems that my worry was for nothing.

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  23. I'm inspired by your deep faith and hope you can find some lasting relief for your pain.
    Susanne.

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  24. You are such a strong and powerful witness for God. Thank-you.

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  25. I agree with Marilyn...I am speechless! So sorry for what you are going through Debra. It certainly makes my *problems* seem miniscule compared to yours. I don't get to comment on your blog as often as I would like, but please know that I do check in as often as I can and am blessed by your blog! God is able to heal and I know that you know that because you have witnessed it first hand. He is powerful and He is awesome!! Praying for His will in your life and that you will have relief from the pain!!
    Much love and hugs~

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  26. PS. Love that precious picture of your dolly in need of repair. :)

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  27. I am so sorry you are going through this ,But unfortunately we don't get to chose all that happens in our lives .But we just have to keep trusting in God to take care of us. God bless you. I enjoy your blog and feel like you are a friend , and I am praying for the best for you .

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  28. You are my hero. To keep on going, through such adversity, when all your body wants to do is give in and give up, that takes courage and tenacity. You are in my prayers.

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  29. oh my goodness debra...i will have to read this post over and over again to truly "take it all in." i am left speechless...utterly speechless by your "journey" and your unwavering faith. you are such an inspiration to us all. It is us who have been enriched by knowing YOU! Be well. God Bless!

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  30. Debra,
    God is indeed good! Your unfailing faith is serving you well and will continue to do so......and I, along with all of your many friends, will continue prayers for you....:)
    xoxo,
    Gail

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  31. Dear Debra,
    I am sending you love and prayers for healing. I'm so thankful for the body of Christ, that we are "members of one another" and when one member hurts, the others do too - we share your pain, and bear it before His throne in prayer. Praying Psalm 103.
    Love,
    Elizabeth
    http://www.justfollowingjesus.com

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  32. Dear Debra, Thank you for sharing with Us, I would have never known or guessed of you having any type of Health trouble, God has led you here, I Treasure Your Blog & Posts, Now we can Gather & Send Prayers for You.... I always feel so encouraged & Happy after I have visited your Blog ~ Please know Your in My Thoughts & will Continue to be in My Prayers, for Relief & Healing..... Lots of Hugs to You ~ xox
    Cheryl

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  33. Oh Debra! We really don't know what is going on "behind the blogs" do we? I'm just in awe of your story and your testimony and will be praying for you...not only for healing but for continued trust and peace and that you can daily lay this at His throne knowing how much He loves you. Thank you for allowing us on this journey with you...it is a privilege! :-)
    Blessings friend,
    Vanessa

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  34. I am so glad to know you Debra ~ you truly are a miracle and a testimony to God having the last word. Just want you to know that I love and believe in you ~ and I am your sista while going through the "unexplainable" parts of life. Blessings to you sweet gal!
    PS ~ I'm the one who bought your white wicker settee several weeks back at Relics (a favorite place) and don't think I don't beeline right back to your booth every time I go into that place!!! <3

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  35. Thanks for sharing this journey with us Debra. It helps me to know a little bit more about you and what's going on in your daily life. Sending you lots of love and prayers that this can be figured out so you don't have so much pain and worry.

    God bless you my friend.

    xoxo
    Kathleen

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  36. Oh Debra, I'm so sorry for what you have been going through, my thoughts and prayers are with you..... you are such an inspiration to me and to so many others.... and a dear friend, thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us!
    Love you~~~ Daphne

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  37. I was so Blessed by what you've been through and still have faith in God's love for you . I've gone through a lot in my life , God lifted me up through it all .
    I just found your Blog resonantly , I'll pray for you and hope as you read this you'll pray for me .
    I have a blog but haven't written in it for a while . If you have time please stop in and check it out . Turn up your speaker , the first song has been a blessing to me . ( I know who holds tomorrow ) .
    God Bless , Mary

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  38. I believe God will be there for you, and guide you and make you well. You are an inspiration and known that we are all with you.
    God Bless & we'll keep you in our prayers.
    XO
    Eloise

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  39. I have had you on my mind and almost called this week!
    So glad you are taking care and so thrilled you know the One who will see you through!
    You are so precious Debra and I have counted you among my "friends" since I met you here in blogland 2 years ago!
    (I know so many do not think that bonds are formed here on the internet...But my very best friends...I rarely see but talk to every day here!)
    You remain in my thoughts and prayers and Thank you for sharing this with us.
    Hugs from afar!
    Donna

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  40. Dear Debra~ My hope is that God will place his gentle hands on you and take away the pain that you've been experiencing these last few weeks. You're faith and inspiration is a gift to all of us~ Thank You and Many Blessings,
    Carol
    Raised In Cotton

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  41. Dearest Debra,
    You have had some hard years sweet, but you stayed strong and came through,- I pray you will also find your heart less painful, and with the help of God,your life easyer to live, in the years to come, and I pray you stay strong and will feel better soon.
    Love you-
    Dorthe

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  42. God is using you through this blog, Debra! He does have great plans for you and you are so faithful :) I just pray for complete healing, too. Where two or more agree...
    Love you and your precious spirit
    Thanks for always being an encourager to us!
    Blessings
    Becky C

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  43. Debra, I had NO idea all you've had to deal with. You are an AMAZING woman!! God definitely has and has had a great purpose for you. I'll be praying that your pain eases. Sending big *hugs* your way. You have an amazing testimony of faith and are always so very encouraging. Take care of yourself.
    -FringeGirl

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  44. Hi Debra, I tried so desperately to leave a comment during the Joplin tornado posts. Blogger would not let me. So, please accept my sympathy and heartfeld concern for all the Joplin people. I have family in SE Missouri and this touched my whole family very much.

    I don't think a lot of people ever feel the love of God. I have been lucky enough to see his work done, I have felt his hand in my life and others.

    I pray your pain subsides and you feel better.
    You are a beautiful person and you are very much loved here in blogland. xo Rhonda

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  45. Dear Debra, I enjoy my visits here so very much and never realized the depth of your illness. I'm so sorry but I just know that God has greatness in store for you. You enrich so many lives (and again, even more than I first realized) so you just keep on keepin' on and trust in the Lord. You are loved.

    Big Hugs and Prayers,
    Stephanie
    Angelic Accents

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  46. You My Velveteen Rabbit are very real to me. I am so concerned about this angina and how it affects you daily and will pray that it is relieved. ♥t

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  47. Thinking of you and sending big {{{{hugs}}}}}}.

    abby

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  48. so glad you shared this,, you are strong no doubt,, keep on keeping on,, you have such a big heart,, thats what brings us back,please be well and you are in my prayers,

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  49. Dear Debra, Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. My heart goes out to you. I started thinking.....you do not want to be "defined" by this, but in a way, you are. But in a WONDERFUL way. Somehow, your strength, kindness, and beauty of character shine through in your blog. I don't know what it is, but your words speak of your wonderful caring character. If this is how this chronic illness has "defined" you,then we could all use just a tiny bit of "definition" in our own lives. Much love and prayers coming your way!
    Denise

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  50. Debra, thank you for sharing your story so we know how to pray and we shall.

    God is so very mysterious in His ways. Healing an an aneurysm ,not healing your hurting heart. He is beyond me trying to figure Him out but I do know one thing- We can trust Him- he is doing a deep work that only He can see and through it all His desire is to make us look more like His precious son Jesus.

    I have fibro and have been down with it- been reading Michael Molinos (a saint from the 1600's)- today's chapter was about the dry and dark places of our lives-
    "what then should be your view of dry times and dark times? In times of darkness what are you to do? Believe. Belive that youare before the Lord , and in His presence;continue tocome to Him with sweetness and quiet attention. Don't try to discover things. Don't try to understand. Don't particularly try to seek a way out of darkness, and most of all do not stop coming before Him as you did in the most faithful time of your life and in those times when spiritual riches and blessings were at their highest.
    Do not try and look for some emotion, or even a tender devotion, toward you Lord Only express your desire to do His will and to be His pleasure.....These times of darkness do not slow you down in your journey toward Him! They may seem to , but in fact they hasten you toward the final point of your journey. (Christ likeness)"

    I do not know why I shared that though I trust it was the Spirit leading and that somehow it may encourage you in your path He has you on at this time.

    Bee blessed
    mary

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  51. My precious friend...I make no secret of the way I feel about you...you're my soul sister...literally.
    To think that when I was there, you were in pain and yet you kept smiling...I could just kick you! YET...that is what makes you so special to me and everyone who is lucky enough to have been led to you. You were chosen to minister and you do it every day by the way you choose to live and believe. You are a walking witness without ever having to say a word...the love shines in your eyes.
    I will join the others in sending many, many daily prayers up for your complete healing. I wish there was something else I could do, but I know (as you do) God has a perfect plan for you and I sure wouldn't want to get in His way to achieve it.
    Didn't mean to write you such a long love letter, but I do love you tho' the miles separate us.
    Much love to you and the hubster.
    Debbie

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  52. You are amazing and one of God's children and there is a purpose or reason for all of this. Always in my prayers and you will get through this. Hugs and blessings sent your way! Marilou

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  53. Dearest Sister Debra,
    Thank you for sharing your story with us! We will all pray and continue to pray for you and yours. We will all get through this together.

    (Isaiah 58:8 NKJV) Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

    Paula of Ivy & Elephants

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  54. Oh Debra, I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through~ I am sending loving thoughts and standing with you in prayer...XO

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  55. Dear Debra,
    While reading your post I could just feel you pouring your heart out to all of us and sharing a side of you that we knew nothing about. For this, I commend you for having such strength and convictions to not let it all get you down or change who you are.

    I wish for you freedom from pain and I pray for your recovery.

    hugs and best wishes,
    Sissie

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  56. Wow, what a journey God has you on. He knows how very strong you are and how strong your faith and trust are! Does that make this journey any easier? No, I know it doesn't, and I am sorry.

    I stand in agreement with you, my sister, for complete healing in the powerful name of Jesus. I pray freedom from pain. I pray in all that you do and all that you are going through, that God will be glorified.

    Keep on keeping on and keep on holding on to Him!

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  57. Debra, you are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story with us. God is so good. He has a plan for you and you are so patiently waiting for his perfect plan to unfold. I pray that he will give you some relief from this pain so that you can continue to be a faithful disciple and share his mercy and grace in your ministry. Be strong, be brave and be faithful my sweet friend. I promise to think of you and to lift you up in prayer daily. HUGS

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  58. My dear sister - not for a second has the Lord turned his back on you... he has not forsaken you or forgotten what he has started when you were yet young but like a fine wine you are being enriched and seasoned... your vintage has yet to come. He has much work for you and is using you even now when you think you are on a shelf. Know this with each challenge rejoice and see that the Lord is good for he loves you with a everlasting love and calls you His beloved, he calls to you because He loves you and you have found favor in His eyes. You are in His care and nothing passes through His hands...no nothing. Rejoice and see what the Lord has for you.
    I love you Girl
    R

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  59. Debra, thank you for sharing what is going on in your life. As we sit in front of our computers and talk with our blog friends, it's sometimes hard to know what difficulties our friends are facing. My prayers are coming your way.
    Jane

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  60. Dear Debra... I just came back to read everyones comments, and noticed I spelled my own name wrong!... I guess I get the blogger of the month award for that one huh?... love to you dear lady, xoxo Julie MARIE

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  61. Oh Beloved, you have the same Fruit of the Spirit as I...long-suffering. I have to believe that it is so we stay close to our Lord. I am praying for you, dear girl. And we must keep keep rejoicing through all of this. You have amazing faith. Just crawl up into His lap and let His loving arms comfort you. We love you, sister.

    Healing hugs to you,
    Sonya

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  62. You will be in my prayers everyday Debra - X

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  63. Dearest Debra-

    You are so loved.

    It occurs to me that
    that is how God sends us messages of hope.

    It is all going to be OK.

    Love to you,
    Laura

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  64. Thank you for being open and honest with us, Debra! Along with all of your other adoring followers and friends, I too will be lifting you up in prayer! Keep up the faith!
    God is good!
    Best Wishes and Blessings,
    Amanda

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  65. Dear Debra, you've been through SO much and still have such a beautiful, positive spirit. You are a shining example of what it means to have faith. I am sending prayers and good thoughts your way... p.s. I can imagine a bit what it's like for you as I'm living with chronic chest pains (apparently non-cardiac and non-respiratory); chronic pain is a terrible thing, like you say

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  66. You are such a wonderful witness and minister Debra. I am sorry that you are in pain, I will keep you in my prayers that His healing touch will give you peace and freedom from pain. You are a tremendous inspiration to us all.
    t. xoxooxoxooxoxo

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  67. Debra,
    You are a blessing!
    Thank you for sharing your story. It is a privilege to pray for each other, and knowing your story encourages us in our faith and helps us know how to pray!
    Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
    Carol

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  68. Oh---THANK YOU so much for sharing-I often try to put my own pain in prospective---there is always some one worse off-try to be thankful that I am not in wheel chair, I can read , use my hands and create art-but is sometimes hard to get started and focussed on a project-but one I start I can immerse myself in reading, painting or what ever...truly have loved your blog-taking one day at a time----WISHING YOU A GOOD DAY....Terry

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  69. What a powerful heartfelt Testimony you have shared! I am certain it will be inspiring to anyone facing serious health complications and intense life challenges. It is said that quite often your Misery is your Ministry... there is just something about 'going through' that can connect to those facing similar struggles and seeing someone who has been up by Faith and had it hold. My younger Brother was diagnosed with a 'terminal' illness quite a few years ago and my Parents & his Fiance' were told to make the Funeral Arrangements... he'd been on Life Support almost a dozen times & defied the odds and grim prognosis. He once called me during a particularly low spell, knowing Big Sis has a close relationship with the Lord, and asked my advice, he was very tired of 'the fight' to Live and attempt to have quality of Life, he'd had a lot of suffering. It was a very tough question since I had never had to walk his walk so my point of reference was not really there... but the Spirit compelled me to simply tell him, "You're not dead 'til GOD says so..." That Statement really impacted him & every time he gets more bad news from the medical professionals he reminds himself of that Truth. He's still vertical Praise God... and I'm so happy and thankful that you are too Dear Blog Friend... to God be all the Glory!

    Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  70. I am amazed and inspired by your story and I thank you for sharing it here. You are a strong woman of God and He has blessed you beyond measure. Praise His Name! May He continue to give you strength to continue your ministry. Blessings, Pamela

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  71. Wow...you are an amazing woman Debra. I admire your strength and faith and want to thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for sharing and I send you love and happy thoughts.

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  72. i pray that in His mercy, God will heal you, but even as you wait for your healing, may you draw strength and encouragement in the thought that you are an inspiration in the way you continue to have faith during difficult times. it is a precious gift that you give us.

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  73. Debra, You have so many people that love and care about you and we are all holding you in our thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and stay strong. Sending big hugs your way.
    xoxo,
    Sherry

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  74. Debra,
    thank you for sharing with us, this surely puts my little pain in a new perspective. This helps me grow.
    Sending prayers and thinking of you,
    Monica x

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  75. I have no words, just love I'm sending you all I can right now can you feel it? Hugs from Texas.

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  76. Debra ~
    You bring tears to my eyes with your amazing testimony to what you are going through and how God is going through it with you and carrying you ~
    My mom had an aneurism by her heart that burst and she did not even know it ~ She is a miracle too ~ God is so good!
    I will be praying for you ~ I don't know how anyone does life without the Lord in it ~
    Lots of hugs
    Lori

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  77. Debra,

    Your transparency, your "realness" is a palatable thing even through a computer screen. Thank you for sharing your life with us...the joys and the trials. We are lifting you up in prayer that you will find the purpose God has for through this trial in your life whether it be the permanent removal of the pain or a way to share God's love and grace with others through the pain. You are a true ambassador of the Good News and we love you sweet sister in Christ!

    Heather

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  78. This was so good that you shared this. I think we have a tendency to think that others whose lives appear to be so perfect are going through very difficult times. To hear your story is so encouraging...that you can have all this pain and difficulty and still be creative and busy. The story of your miraculous healing gives me hope for a friend that is in a health battle of her own. Thank you so much for sharing, Debra. You touch so many people's lives...I hope you realize this.

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  79. Oh my goodness, you are an amazing woman. Your strength and faith have pulled you through these very difficult years. I will keep you in my prayers. You are an inspiration to all of us. Big Hug!

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  80. I am sorry to hear of your suffering, thank you for sharing your story. One of the best things I love about blogging is the real stories of the wonderful bloggers I have come to enjoy. You are a strong person, in spirit and faith and that is what has keep you in this world so long and I hope it continues for many years to come.

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  81. I have tears as I read this. I know how hard some of these concerns can be to share. I also have suspected heart problems and a horrid family history of them. Mine are suspected because I have not had my angiogram yet. I "failed" two treadmill stress tests. I have put myself on the back burner while the needs of other family members were attended to. I just did not think I would be back here this long.
    I have had dear friends who seemed in much better health than I depart this life without warning, a strange feeling or a headache and then gone. In some ways I guess that means there was not pain? Who knows.
    I am not afraid to die but I would like to do it without a lot of pain or being a burden to others.
    I wish I knew someone who had answers to relieving pain. I hope it is a comfort to you to know that we are all wishing the best for you.

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  82. Debra, I had no idea about your heart troubles until I read this post. Thanks for sharing your amazing story of going forward in faith and trusting God. Prayers and blessings,
    Sandy

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  83. Hi Debra, I'm glad your tests came back okay, but I'm sorry you still have pain. You do so much for us in blogland. I hope you can have some Debra time each day and spend some moments relaxing in all of the wonderful spaces you have created.
    You are loved and appreciated.
    Have a great weekend!
    ~ Julie
    {I can relate a little to your condition; I have had restless legs for years and even with medication, which I keep increasing, it is a burden.}

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  84. I commend you for your strength and the conviction of your faith. Truly inspiring!

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  85. Thank you for "being real". It is the way I try to live my life as a believer too. Too many people waste so much energy trying to present themselves to others as "having it all together". Because we don't have it all together...we are thankful that God does! He always has it together and holds the world in His control. He created the stars and calls them all one at a time each night. We forget how much our Father really does love us and really does have our best interests in mind. We cannot always see through the trials but we KNOW He is with us and has the best plan.

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  86. Dear Debra, my heart goes out to you. We all think that we have our problems and ups and downs. Thank you for sharing this with us. You never know what God has in store for us, But you can be sure he is by your side. thanks for being our friend.

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