Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Closer Look... at Life

I haven't shared much that's been going on with the move in detail, because, number one, it has been such a major ordeal, and number two, I'm trying let go of the old house and some of my ways of thinking. It goes way beyond "downsizing", but I haven't been able to share all that with you until now. My health is what has precipitated this move, (most of you know that I have had heart issues stemming from an hereditary problem) as the house and property are more than my hubby and I want to deal with now. We need a fresh direction in life.

This move has been one of the toughest things I've had to do in years. I think it's because I have still been having problems with my heart which I haven't discussed much since last Fall, (I'll fill you in later in the post) and because of that, I can't do what I want to do. So much frustration when you can't do the things you used to do, and now have to have someone else do them for you.




God has been at work through all this, giving me the ability to get the house packed and arranging for things to be sold. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so He has sent people my way to make it easier. This last week, on short notice, He sent my sister and her hubby, my mom, and then a dear friend that is in the junk biz to organize the garage sale, and then haul off all the leftovers. My husband wanted me to forego a sale and just donate it all, but it's been therapeutic in many ways and part of the process of me letting go... and moving forward.



It's not that I'm having a problem with selling the old house, because I'm really looking forward to a new home. We've been talking about what we want and need, and I'm confident that it will be wonderful, and that we'll have a "place" for all that we've stored away. It's just that this has been so long and drawn out; a painful process, in many ways. We know this is a year of transition for us, and transition isn't always easy or "pretty".



I just feel like now is the time I need to be a little more transparent about what's been going on with me personally, healthwise, without being a big bummer for you all. I have an appointment with a new cardiologist in St. Louis that I'll be seeing next month. I cannot tell you how long overdue this is. My current cardiologist, is not a specialist in the area that right now I'm desperately needing counsel in. Because he isn't a specialist, he doesn't see the importance in guiding me to get the help that I need.



I don't like drama and innuendo; leaving people guessing, so I'll get graphic for a moment to explain what all this is about. Last August I knew something was very wrong, I started feeling horrible and had pain that I hadn't had before. After a heart catheterization, a large blood clot was removed that was blocking my stent and we realized I'd actually had another heart attack, and because of the prolonged situation, I had had an aneurysm that had burst and bled out into the surrounding heart tissue. Also that the tip (apex) of my heart is now dead. non functioning. A left ventricular aneurysm is tricky at best, and most people die from this immediately. I had God's hand on me and and He saved my life once again, but now I have a condition that is controversial. 90% of cardiologists know it's a necessity to have reconstructive surgery, or heart "remodeling" where they take out the dead tissue. Otherwise you're a ticking time bomb for having a rupture of the dead tissue pulling away from the living viable tissue. The mortality rate is high, but some doctors prefer to just leave it alone. Problem is that most people that have this are elderly and are in congestive heart failure. I'm not either of these, and I desperately want to have my life back.

So I'm going to see a specialist at Barnes in St. Louis where they have a team of doctors who all they do is aneurysm repair. I'm not worried and I'm confident that they have answers for me, one way or another. I'm looking for an honest assessment of my situation and hope that surgery can put right most of the problems I've had this last year. (Blood clots and a lot of debilitating pain) It will be worth going through open heart surgery again, to be feeling better, and more on track with life in general.




As for these pics of thread... I have had an old sewing machine cabinet of my paternal grandmother's that I knew was time to sell. I have had it over 40 years, and it's traveled all over the US, but now was when it needed to go. I went through the drawers and found a stash of my grandmother's threads and needles, and pulled them out to keep. I also found this wonderful old Meakin Ironstone bowl that I had buried in one of my garage tubs. I love handling the old wooden spools that my grandmother used, and feel a dear connection in them.










Miss Jenkins always has to be close by,
 and if she can be in the photo, then all the better.


The thought of my grandmother using them, their age,
 and subtle mellowed shades, bring tranquility, peace, and calm. 


I'll share more with you in the next weeks as we finish up the house and get it on the market. I know that God's timing is perfect, and I know He is in control of my life and health. He has the buyer for our home, and is planning our new one, too. There are many factors that will have to come together to see His plan come to fruition, but I'm confident that it will. He's never let me down before, so we take each day, knowing He is leading and guiding us.


God has been requiring me to take a closer look at life...
at my life.
To get it all in focus, and to appreciate the smallest thought and gesture;
and to be grateful for all the people he uses to help and walk with us.



I've learned over the years, that if I follow His lead, He not only takes care of all the details, but blesses many people through the "process". And I'm learning that no experience should be wasted or discounted. Life is indeed a process, and I'm believing that there will be answers and justification coming.




As for blogging, I'll be putting the link parties on hiatus, I hadn't meant to stop so soon, but I know now is the time, This week will be the last "Be Inspired" for a while. Anyone that hosts a party knows that it's a lot of responsibility and takes several hours at least to do it right each week. I'll still be blogging, but it will be when I have something to share that's an inspiration to all of you, and then I'll be letting you know how things are going. There have been days where I'm in bed with a boatload of medications...I just can't keep up any longer, especially with this last push on the house business.  I'll keep you filled in. Please know that I hold all of you closely, and enjoy your posts and find the inspiration a daily infusion of joy. I can sit at my computer and get lost in another place. It's important to do this for as long as I can.


I just felt that it was time to share what's going on. I don't like keeping things hidden, and because all of you are considered as friends, I knew now was the time to share all this. You know how much I need your prayers and good thoughts coming. I'll still be here, I'm not closing things down, just knowing now's the time to make some changes. See you Thursday morning...love you all, 

joining in at Savvy Southern Style

                                                           

127 comments:

  1. I will also say a prayer for you. Just know you have the support of your readers as you face this time in your life. Hugs...

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  2. God's love and blessings on you~

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  3. Debra so sorry to hear your health news. I am glad that you are moving to a place where things will be easier. It's time to focus on YOU and what you need to recover. I went through a health crisis 5 years ago and I am finally on the other side of it - however - we too are looking to downsize and make our lives easier should my leukemia return. Sending prayers your way

    Cheryl @ The Creative Me and My McG

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  4. Praying for your complete healing, Debra.

    Sonny

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  5. Bless you Debra...and I am glad you have the courage to share with all of us and to take the necessary steps to scale back and take care of you..
    Get well....
    Love, Mona

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  6. Oh dear Debra... my heart is aching for you and the heavy load you are carrying... I am so happy so many have come to help you with your move and sale, etc... you are one of the kindest, most giving and loving ladies I know and it's time to take care of YOU and let some of the other things go... I admire your faith and strength and you are a true inspiration to me and so many others... many many prayers for you and your family as you get a new perspective on your life from a new cardiologist who I am sure will know just what to do for you... I know how much a positive attitude helps in health issues and you certainly have that... and you are young and need to feel better soon!... I love seeing your grandmothers threads... as I read your post and looked at the photos, I thought of your grandmothers love "tying" everything together with those "threads of love" and making it all right for you... you will be in my thoughts and prayers, and as you know, I am only an email away... xoxo Julie Marie

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  7. This is such an inspiring post. Your words have truly touched me, those of your faith and trust - especially how He is in control and will take care of all the details. I am working on being more accepting to those words, because I know it will take away so much stress and anxiety. Thank you so much for sharing what is in your heart - your strength and positive outlook are just what I needed today.

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  8. You are and will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  9. I am so sorry about your health issues, but you have a wonderful frame of mind. God is good and he will see you through all of this. I am so glad that you are going to different doctors who specialize in your problem.
    I will be praying for you.
    God bless,
    Mary

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  10. I'm sorry to hear of these prolonged health issues for you, Debra, and that it has affected your daily life. It sounds like you are doing the right things that need to be done for your health and well being right now. I wish you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts. Just take care of you! That is what is important.

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  11. Oh Debra, I feel honored that you felt you could share your concerns with us. Sharing is not something that comes easy for me, like sharing my story from last year, so you touched me with how open you are. Your faith in God has always impressed and inspired me. I so regret you are going through this, and how difficult that it keeps you from being able to do the things you love. I truly can relate to this since last year was a nightmare for me. I hope like me, that next year you will be looking back on this year as I am how. You seem so much stronger than I am, you strive forward, quite frankly last year I fell apart. Just writing this sentence makes me cry. I will embrace you in prayer, and remain confident that God will bring you through with the grace her so often and willingly shares. I'll be over for you party as always. Maybe you won't start it up again, I started mine again because having the party represented to me that I had "made it" out of last year. silly I know, but that's what it represented to me. If there is anything I can do....let me know.

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  12. Debra you are an inspiration. You have been an encourager and person I go to for my decorating fixes. I feel I know you and just want you to know I love you and know you will be in my prayers. If there is anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask. I will keep checking on you. Much love girl...you are doing all the right things. Hubby and I are looking to downsizing to a 1300-1500 sq. foot house. It is a blessing you have your family and friends. Much love, Di@Cottage-wishes.

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  13. First, I commend you for being truthful with us. We are your friends! It is not a downer to talk about life. That is life: ups and downs. Secondly, I will hold you in my heart. And thirdly, I just went through this downsizing, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I thought. I sure don't have a heart condition that is life-threatening, but I wear a steel boot everyday, so moving was hard. Judy had the garage sale for me, bless her heart. I have 725 square feet, no more repair worries, someone else to mow the darned yard, and I am having fun decorating my small space and my patio gardens. Yes, as someone who has a weekly party, it takes me at least 2 hours to go through and edit photos, etc. to make it the best I can, so I know how much commitment it is. You just read blogs and rest yourself. You know we all love you. Let material possessions go. Keep the most loved and move on. In letting go, you will find a strength and a relief you didn't know was setting on your shoulders all along.
    Brenda

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  14. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep the faith and know that God will take care of you. May you feel His peace and comfort around you. I'm so happy you are going to a Specialist. They can do so much now. I pray that the healing power of Jesus will touch you and make you completely well.

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  15. I'm with you, every step of the way. You know how much I love you.
    You've got this.
    XO,
    Me

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  16. Sending prayers and healing thoughts your way. I knew you had mentioned some health issues before, but I am so far behind visiting around the land of blog, I have not kept up with what is going on with so many. Take care of your self and let others pitch in with the work/move. You do not need to be doing any lifting, pushing, shoving, etc.. Yes - you definitely need to be seeing a specialist ASAP ! The doctor you have been seeing should have sent you to one long before now. :(
    Thanks for hosting the weekly events - appreciate what you did. I did not join in often, but enjoyed seeing what others have been up to.
    Take care of your self !!

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  17. You will be in my thoughts and prayers Debra. Through your trials, you've still managed to uplift with your words about the Lord. He IS watching over you, sending blessings and people to help. I will keep visiting to be in the loop. I hope you find peace in body, mind and spirit. Be well my friend!
    Roselle

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  18. I will pray for wisdom, healing and strength. I always enjoy reading your blog and will look forward to following along with your journey.

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  19. Debra, do what you need to do to be better. We will all be right here when you need us. Hugs, Linda@Wetcreek Blog

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  20. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Look after yourself as your health comes first! We will always be here for you. take care, Maryann

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  21. You are a brave woman, and I could only hope I could be as strong in a similar situation. What one thinks and one is actually capable of doing are two different things, as you have said. You are wise, seeking the best possible medical care while you are an optimal candidate. You are blessed with many family and friends who are by your side to help you along the way. Last, but certainly not least, you are loved - by so many of us - and I pray for God's hands to guide those whose hands will touch you in the coming months. God's speed, and please keep us all posted. We will miss your wonderful link parties - we'd all be lying if we didn't admit it - but we will all join in the party that celebrates your successful healing.
    Hugs,
    Rita

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  22. You are a very inspiring woman, and even though I only know you from your blog I know you are also a strong woman. Sending all good thoughts your way!

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  23. I am so sorry to hear that you have been dealing with so much! Health issues combined with house issues are huge! I don't know how you've done it so long. I think taking things slower is a good idea. I hope that a new doctor can guide you in the right direction to get you better. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  24. Oh honey!!! What courage it took to write this post. Please know I will he keeping you in prayer. But you are in stronger hands dear friend. He will take care of you.
    Big hugs, Gee

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  25. Debra - Just know that all of your friends will be here for you and praying for you, your family and your doctors. I admire your positive attitude and your ability to talk about it with your dear friends. You are such a sweet and caring person and I know that all of your followers will be so concerned about your health. We all want what is best for you and will be praying for your doctors to come up with a miracle. God is still in the miracle business. Take care and take it easy.

    Judy

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  26. Greetings Debra... Thank YOU for sharing your news... Y*O*U are such an AmaZiNg Woman!!! I hope & pray you can get through this situation... You have given us ALL sooooo much!!! Take Care... Rest.. and hopefully we'll await *Good News* down the road...
    Hugs - Jeanine Burkhardt

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  27. I will be praying the specialist can give you answers and put you on the road to good health! I hope you have peace and happiness in your new home!

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  28. Oh Debra....As I read through the previous comments, I realized that you WILL come through the move, any surgical procedures, and recovery just fine. Look at all the prayer warriors you have that will be lifting your name up daily! Me included! We will all be praying you through this journey and will meet you at the other end - healthier and happier! Bless you, sweetie. Stay strong. Keep the faith. You're in Good Hands. ♥

    xoxo laurie

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  29. I'm sure everything will be ok and hope you have good luck with your new doctor.
    Your words are very heartfelt, I appreciate your honesty.
    A big hug!

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  30. Your faith has inspired me since I discovered your blog. (And I love your decor too!) I will keep you in my prayers on an ongoing basis that God will heal you and be closer to you than the breath of your body. Blessings, jacki

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  31. Debra,
    We serve an a w e s o m e God, dear friend!!!
    I agree with you that He has already made the plans for your future!
    He will guide and direct your path each step of the way. . .and I want to jouney with you.
    I will be your prayer partner. . .and a prayer warrior when needed!!!
    Keep us informed, dearest one!
    Fondly,
    Pat

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  32. Everyone said it all, and so well. Just wanted to agree with each comment and lift you up in prayer,
    God is Faithful,

    ~ Violet

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  33. Debra, Of course, I had no idea what you have been going through but I have marveled at how you have moved and blogged and facilitated a linky party, too. That would be more than I could do. I am glad you have made these decisions for your health.I will be praying for you as many many others will be doing.

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  34. Debra,
    So sorry you are going through such a tough time with the move and your health. I am keeping you in my prayers that you will be in good hands with the new doctors and they will do the surgery you need and it will help you gain back your health. May you have better days ahead. Let you beautiful faith sustain you. Good luck on this part of your journey.
    Kris

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  35. Debra, I'm so sorry to hear of all of your health issues. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I'm sure it was very hard to write this post, but I'm glad you did. It helps keep things in perspective as to what is really important. God bless you. I wish you a speedy recovery.

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  36. Oh Debra, I'm so sorry that your health problems are that serious. Hopefully the specialist will be able to help you. It must be a very exhausting and scary time for you. It's wonderful that you got so much help with the move and everything. You'll be in my thoughts and I hope you'll feel much better soon.
    Hugs,
    Julia

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  37. I'm so glad you shared so we can be praying. I, too, am surprised at the seriousness of the situation and how upbeat you are through it...Jesus is very evident in the inner strength and joy that you have. Sending you lots of love and praying for God to guide you each step of the way through both your medical and house decisions.

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  38. Sweet Debra, I am so sorry to hear this and admire your strength and honesty. How great it is to know that God is so good and in control of all things. I will be praying for you!
    Blessings,
    Cindy

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  39. Debra-those of us in the blogging world know how difficult is it to share intimate details of our lives with perfect strangers, so kudos to you for sharing your story! I wish you the best in your journey to good health, and hope for the best with your new doctors. I love reading your work, and am looking forward to many, many more blogs from you as you move into and decorate your new home in your perfect style. Best regards, Sue@CountryDesignHome

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  40. God Bless, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I will continue to hold you up before the Lord.

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  41. Beautiful and precious old spools and threads :) Debra, I'd been wondering how you were actually feeling, health-wise, between the move and all going on, and often had thought that it was a wonder that you were keeping up to link parties but still posting regularly while running back and forth between houses ! May God Bless as you consult with these new doctors and may He continue to guide you in regards to the next direction and please keep us updated. :)

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  42. You will be in my thoughts & prayers during this Season of your life. I pray that God will give wisdom & guidance to you & the doctors in what needs to be done for a full restoration. You & your blog have blessed me since I discovered it a few months ago. I will look forward to your return once you are better.

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  43. Hi Debra,
    Please know that you are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. You have inspired me with all you are going through. Many people would just give up, but not you. You are a fighter and that is a good thing. You are such a positive influence and I know God has great things ahead for you. He is good...all the time!
    Hugs~

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  44. I'll keep you in my prayers, Debra! Our hope is in Him, continue to fight the good fight.

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  45. I will continue praying for you, Debra. Barnes is the absolute tip top. I know you are in good hands there.

    As for the sewing machine, you brought back memories. As a child, I dearly loved to explore the drawers of Granny's old Singer treadle machine. The scent of machine oil and thread is a strong memory and the treasure trove of buttons will be a memory, with me always. Granny designed our little dresses, made the patterns from newspaper and many times the fabric was from flour sacks. Thanks for memories!

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  46. Thanks for being so open with us so we know how to pray for you, Debra! There's a lot going on right now and you need to take the time you need to get through it! Blessings and prayers - Doreen

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  47. May all the prayers for you help you to get the expertise you need from the doctors to make your heart strong again.

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  48. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  49. I hope all goes well and my prayers will be with you!

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  50. Peace be with you in your journey.

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  51. Debra, thank you for sharing your heart with us. You can see the evidence that you are surrounded by prayer for your health and that God will lead you to just the right doctor and make the decisions with His very clear guidance. I don't have the kind of problem you are having, but I do know that more and more my body is telling me it is time to lighten the load of so many "things" in our life. It sure is hard to let go of things you have cherished and enjoyed for years....almost feels like giving a little piece of yourself away, but I do know that the Father desires me to lighten the competion for time with Him and material possessions certainly do require attention in this world. I have watched with inspiration how you have handled this great transition and know your being transparent is for all of us also to reflect on our own response to these issues. I pray you will find the help you need and have a successful surgery so you can feel like doing all the things you love. May you be blessed in every way as you "lean in" to those everlasting and unfailing arms for His strength and healing. We all love you! Linda

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  52. You are in my prayers, Debra. I know that was a difficult post to write, thank you for sharing with us. Much love to you!

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  53. God has a plan for you and you are walking in that path now, a long journey, but your faith has kept you steadfast. You recognize his blessings and are thankful for them. You have many friends (including me) that are praying for you. (((hugs)))

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  54. I appreciate your honesty, admire your bravery and am inspired by your faith. He brought you to it and He will bring you through it. A new season has begun for you, you are surrounded by those who love you, you can do this!!! May the God of Abraham make His face to shine down upon you.......that is my prayer for you........xoxoxo

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  55. Debra, I'm so glad you shared your present circumstances. I knew you had some heart struggles but knowing more of the details helps me understand what you're going through right now. Please know. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I agree. You will have clarity when you see the specialist and God will guide you to the "right" decision about your heart condition. In the meantime, I'm happy to see you surrounded by people who can help you with the moving and sale of your home. You've got a great attitude, in fact, I found your words about finding a new home quite comforting. It's been tough for me lately. Being in such a transition, not having a place yet, knowing that I have more 'moves' in my future but reading your heartfelt post this morning brings it all into perspective. You are such a special person Debra. Please keep us posted on your heart condition, I continue to pray and send you my positive thoughts and love.
    xo
    Leslie

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  56. Debra, I so sympathize with you with the frustration of health issues but I am comforted to know how strong your faith is and that you know that the Lord is taking care of everything. There may be discomfort and discouragement in the present but He will see you through it to the other side of many blessings. Will be thinking of you and praying for you. I will miss Be Inspired....it is the best party that I link up to!! AnnMarie <3

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  57. Hi Debra...what an awesome post today! Your faith, trust and hope in God makes for a better day for all of us. I will be lifting you up to the Great Physician and watch for His healing hands during all the Dr. visits and the new specialist...seems like a lot of people have been downsizing as we learn God provides for all we need..How Great is Our God!..Take care of yourself, post when you can, and remember you are loved...Hugs, Jeannie

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  58. Debra I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you.

    Kathy

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  59. You know I KNOW exactly what you are going through. Having to downsize because of medical disability and loss of wages.....on top of being ill, is a huge undertaking. It will work out. It may not be what your dreams were, but life is wonderful either way!

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  60. Thank you for sharing all that Debra, I hope that has made you feel a little better, sometimes sharing can be letting go of a heavy burden. I pray that your new Dr will have a grand plan to make you feel better. Your photos and words about your grandmother are so special~
    Jenna

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  61. Your bowl of your grandma's beautiful old sewing notions is as beautiful a thing as I've seen recently while browsing the blogs..... it's as though she's found a way to hold your hand through this transition, isn't it? Prayers for you as you travel this road, Debra. I've enjoyed your blog so much and I hope you continue to share!

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  62. It was hard to read through your touching post without tears in my eyes. I am so sorry that you have endured so much suffering. I believe that this new doctor will be able to give you some promise. My Aunt is considerably older than you and had a very serious heart problem that open heart surgery was able to resolve. Your faith is strong. Your doctor will be competent. I think that in time all of this upheaval will be behind you and your future will look sunny once again. I will keep you in my prayers dear girl as I know your devoted readers will. Whenever you are ready to post we will be there to follow. May our good Lord bestow many blessings and comfort on you and your family.

    Big Texas (((Hugs))),
    Susan and Bentley

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  63. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I am sorry to hear you have gone through so much. I will keep you in my thoughts. It sounds like your strong faith has gotten you through so far and I am hoping the doctors will be able to correct the problem for you. Take care! - Shelley

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  64. Debra, I appreciate (as I'm sure all your readers do) your honesty and transparency! Your wonderful attitude and faith in God is an inspiration! You're in my thoughts and prayers :)
    Susan

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  65. Debra, I wish you well on your new journey. I have missed joining your parties but work and life have been busy so I have slowed down on the blogging so I understand how much time you have put into the blogging. Take care of yourself and your family. Alaina

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  66. Debra, my prayers are with you. God is in control. Thank you for sharing. There is power in prayer, and, you have a lot coming your way.xoxo

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  67. I'm glad you shared what's been happening with your health, and I hope your new doctors will help you be well again soon so you can live the full life you want. I'm sending heartfelt wishes for a long and happy life ahead.

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  68. I enjoy your writing in this blog so much. God bless you & your physicians. The power of prayer, mindfulness, & surrounding yourself with those you love & who love you will go a long way in aiding those physicians in your care. I am looking forward to any updates on the home front too!

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  69. Debra, I am so glad you opened up about what is going on. I am praying the new cardiologist can help you get your health and life back. Yes, you are way too young to just give up. I'm so glad you are going to find help for this. Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day.

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  70. Wishing you all the best as you face the challenges ahead. Know that we are with you, even if we are miles away!

    xo Kat

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  71. Such a beautiful post, Debra. I am praying for you and believe that you will find the answers and help you need. I know your sharing has encouraged so many, especially me. ;)

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  72. Debra, you are my idol. You have always been so inspirational to me. I appreciate how open you are right now with what you are going through. Life is a journey of ups and downs and you will make it through this, because you have faith. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. You are loved by many, especially me.
    Hugs,
    Jody

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  73. Thank you Debra for all you've done and continue to do for your blog "friends" :) You're certainly an inspiration to us as you continue to share your loving touches that make a house a home. But more importantly, you're an inspiration for sharing your story and your faith. I appreciate you and your honesty, and pray that those docs take extra special good care of you! Blessings, Kathleen

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  74. Oh my dear blotting friend what a beautiful post. I know our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ are mindful of you and you will be blessed. I appreciate you sharing your story. Life is about change and change is hard. I appreciate you telling your story of your heart desease. I know you are going to be ok. They have come so far in the treatment of heart problems. 35 years ago my precious husband had a similar problem as you. A third of his heart was removed. He was only the fifth person in the US to have this done. He lived an active full life for 14 years. They have improved the surgery so much now. You will be blessed. The Lord will go before you and prepare the way. My prayers are with you. GOD BLESS YOU.

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  75. You are an amazing person to be able to share your personal story with everyone. I see from all these comments that you have a lot of support. Please know in your heart and soul that we are thinking of you and praying for the best possible outcomes for your health and happiness. I know how frustrating it is to not be able to do what you want, so enjoying what you can do becomes so important. Keep us posted on how you are doing and take it easy...one step at a time.

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  76. You are an amazing person to be able to share your personal story with everyone. I see from all these comments that you have a lot of support. Please know in your heart and soul that we are thinking of you and praying for the best possible outcomes for your health and happiness. I know how frustrating it is to not be able to do what you want, so enjoying what you can do becomes so important. Keep us posted on how you are doing and take it easy...one step at a time.

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  77. Debra, may the Lord continue to guide you & uphold you. Thank you for sharing all that's happening. Take good care!

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  78. Praying for you this morning as I read your words Debra. Asking our Lord to keep you so very close to His side and to wrap His loving arms around you all the tighter! God is good and will see you through...
    Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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  79. Debra, your photos were not lost on me because isn't that what life is...a quilt held together by so many fine stitches of the threads of hope and grace. Sometimes it's a friendship quilt...more times than not, a crazy one, but through it all God is the one carefully placing each quilt block in place, moving us forward. But then...I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Your life speaks volumes of who is in control.
    Sometimes it feels as if we are just holding on by a thread, but look at a spider. She spins a silk thread that is strong and worthy of kings. You are that spider. So much so, I may change your name to Charlotte. A synonym for "thread" is "bravery". You my darling, are one of the bravest women I have ever been privileged to meet and I thank God for placing you in the crazy quilt of my life.
    As you "thread" through the medical process, know you have my prayers for as long as you want/need them...basically till the end of time.
    Love you,
    Deb

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  80. Debra, blessing to you and my prayers for the doctors to find the answers and help your heart needs! I enjoyed looking at the pictures while reading your post, beautiful threads of love.
    (Hugs)

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  81. You're in my thoughts and prayers Debra.

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  82. Debra, I am so sorry to hear about your medical issues. I believe that God has shone a light to a path that you need to take right now in your life. He will guide and strengthen you through your journey with health issues. I can relate to some of what you are going though. Through a great deal of prayer, I came to some conclusions in the direction of my life as well. My prayers are with you.

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  83. Dear Lord Jesus please be with my friend Debra and her family as they walk through this trial. May you provide loving and knowledgeable care givers to aid in her recovery. Let her feel the love and hugs of the many who consider her dear. In your precious name, Amen.

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  84. Dearest Debra - God's continued blessings and guidance in your transition period by yours beyond measure. You have always been a inspiration and so many of your posts that I've read have stayed with me when I've been thrifting or thinking of a re-do. May you regain strength and wholeness and be birthed into a fresh season of sharing the gifts God has given you. Joy in the journey . . . Kathy

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  85. Dearest Debra,

    May God hold you and your family in the Palm of His Hand - healing and good health to you, sweet lady.

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  86. Debra ~

    I'll be keeping you in my heart & thoughts ~ holding a space for you of strength, serenity and gentle healing.

    bobbie

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  87. Oh wow, just now reading about this. I'm so glad you will be seeing experts in the field. It sounds like it's been really hard, and I know it takes a lot of guts to go through what you've been going through. My prayer for you will be that you will be able to have a life changing surgery and get back to feeling vital and more yourself again. I will be thinking of you, and watching for your posts. Thanks so much for sharing...

    Cindy

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  88. Debra...you are an amazing woman! God is definitely your strength and shield. I'll put you on my prayer list and trust with you for just the right answers and timing for not only your heart but your home. I'll miss the party....but I'm glad you'll still be posting your lovely inspiration. You are a blessing! [hugs]

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  89. I love a strong, faith-filled woman - creative in her life and a friend to all others who cross her path. I have read your blog for a long time and you have truly inspired me. You will be close to all of us in our prayers. This wonderful post shows your caring and sharing spirit. Be well, my friend.

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  90. Debra, I've been wondering about these "behind the scenes" things with you for a long time, but didn't have the courage to ask you directly. I believe you are among friends here, and hate that you would be concerned about being a downer about the real stuff. Of course in the realm home decor blogging there's an assumption that people mostly want to see the "pretty stuff", but sharing the real, hard and painful things really bonds women together in a way that I think we all long for. By being open about your situation, you've now opened the door for this community to pray and lift you up in love. You're creating a way for many to BE a blessing :) I will pray that God continues to bring helpers alongside side you and your husband, that the right medical help will be available and successful for you, and that He will soothe the pain of these painful transitions. I will miss seeing you here more regularly, but I'm so thankful that you will be nurturing your very important needs now!
    You've been a blessing to me!
    With love-
    Jeanette

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  91. Your beautiful and honest words are a true inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us and thank you for sharing your grandmothers precious sewing notions. Blessings to you and your family.

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  92. Oh Debra! My heart aches for you. I pray for you and that you find the answers that you need and that God will continue to lay his healing hands upon you! Thank you so much for sharing something so personal with us. We are all more than just pretty pictures. Hugs my friend!

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  93. Dear, dear, Debra, You have been at the center of my blogging world since I first entered four years ago. I have so much enjoyed joining in at Vintage Inspiration (I miss that) and Be Inspired. Your kindness, wisdom, and strength have always been so apparent to me even through the limited personal exchanges we have had.

    Like so many others do, I hold you as a sweet friend. You have opened up the doors to your beautiful and peaceful home every week for such a long time, and I will miss Being Inspired, and connecting to your cheerful beauty and goodness once a week at least. (And fabulous vintage garden style!) Thanks so much for that.

    Things can change so much over the course of a few years. My blogging habits have changed. So many sweet women come and go from the picture. And sometimes they go for good and there is such a disconcerting mystery about it all. You are so giving and unselfish to spare us that. And you express yourself so well.

    It's funny how we think of our blogging friends so often, even when we know each other so little. My neighbor suffers with Meniers the way your husband did, and I wonder how he is doing too. I always think of you when there is weather in Missouri. And here always seems to be weather! haha!

    I am so touched by all the many expressions of love for you here, and add my own. God bless you dear. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I will be checking in and looking out for you, and looking forward to your healthy return. I'm so glad that you are taking good care of yourself. xx J.

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  94. Debra,
    Thank you for inspiring so many for so long in many ways. Your home with its beautiful decor and your heart with its beautiful inspiration will continue to inspire in a more limited way. I will miss being part of your weekly linking party, but will continue to look forward to seeing your posts.

    Best wishes with your new doctor and treatments...

    Judith

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  95. Debra, Thank you so much for sharing with us. You're such an inspiration, and it's wonderful that you'll now be able to get some answers with your new cardiologist. God bless and keep you and give you peace. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are.
    xo Babs

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  96. I'm glad you shared - more prayers that way. :) Wishing you every good thing, doctors, and everything else.
    -Revi

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  97. Debra, I am so sorry to hear you are having medical issues and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Though we have never met in person I consider you a dear friend. Please take care of yourself!
    Sending big hugs,
    Sherry

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  98. Dear Debra:
    Thank you for sharing your story. I know that the specialists will provide you with guidance and answers. You'll be in my prayers.
    xo
    Donna

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  99. Even though I've only been blogging a few months, you were one of the first where I felt a real welcoming spirit behind the computer screen. I feel as though we are "real" friends...hugs and prayers for you, my blogging friend. I will keep you in my prayers and will look forward to updates.
    judypimperl.blogspot.com

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  100. Hello Debra,
    So sorry to hear that you are having health issues. Glad that you shared with all of us, so now we can all keep you in our daily prayers. Linky parties are a lot of work and I'm happy that you are putting yours on hold until your health is better. Wishing you the best with your new doc. Take care and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

    Blessings,
    Linda

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  101. Barnes is the BEST. You'll be in great hands. It's a very caring hospital. Of course I don't know who your new doc is, but if it happens to be Andrew Kates... he rocks.

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  102. I am praying for you Debra. All will be well. Have faith (which you do, in abundance!) and know that you will be healed.

    xo
    Claudia

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  103. Deb, thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this with us! I am so glad that you know you're in the hands of our faithful God, who has it all under control! You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you visit Barnes and look at this possible surgery. Thanks for sharing your heart {literally} with us ;)
    Cindy

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  104. Debra, I am so sorry that you are going through this and am happy that you felt comfortable to disclose your health issues. It helps to express what is going on to help take some of the load off of yourself and to allow us to help you. I know that God is working to keep you safe and well and that your plans for a better diagnosis and plan are on the path you are supposed to be on. I pray that you will find good health with surgery, medication or whatever these new doctors find needed. Prayers and healing thoughts will go out daily. If you ever need to talk about things, please do not hesitate. I'm here for you! Hugs and Blessings, Leena

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  105. Oh Debra,
    Your strong spirit is an amazing inspiration to us all, and a testament to your beloved faith in God. He is giving you courage through this trial and He will lead you through it. I can't believe how much you've been through these past months. Please know that you are in my prayers, my friend. Take this time to rest and rely on your loved ones to help you, and dream about your next cozy home that will be filled with love and peace.
    xoxo, Susan

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  106. I'm so sorry Debra. I will be praying for you and your appointments and procedures. God must have some more business for you since you have clearly seen Him at work throughout all of this. I understand completely how you feel about your grandmother's sewing remnants. I cherish mine as well, and still feel her presence each time I sit down to sew and see memories of her surrounding me. Thanks for sharing with us. Blessings to you.

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  107. Wow Debra! What you've been going through is huge. I am so glad you are going to seek out the right specialist and I pray that God will guide all of the medical staff that He brings your way. You have great strength and your positive outlook and faith will carry you through and I believe that you will "get back" the life you've been missing. A strength-filled life, new energy, new purpose and even greater things that will open up for you in the future.

    I will REALLY miss your party as it is one of my favorite places to come each week. I am so inspired by your style and your posts but I'm glad you're paying attention to your health and doing the right thing.

    Please do keep us informed so we can keep praying for you. Abundant blessings to you dear Debra,

    Patti

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  108. Debra, I've taken an extended break from blogging, but happened to see your very moving post. My heart goes out to you and I hope your new doctor has the answer to all your medical problems. We'll miss "Be Inspired", but it's time to think of yourself and reduce the stress involved in hosting your weekly party. You've got so many changes taking place in your life right now and that's enough for anybody to deal with! I'll be thinking of you and pray everything goes well for you.

    Sending a big hug your way,
    Vickie

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  109. God bless you. Your story is amazing and truly a testament to the truth that God has numbered our days and He holds us in the palm of His hand. Thanks for your transparency and for letting us know what is going on.
    You will be in my prayers.

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  110. Oh Debra I am so sorry to read of your illness. My oh my there is a lot going on medically for you and you are so very young.Your faith in God will most certainly help and comfort you as you begin this new journey. I pray that by the summer's end you will be on your way back to your life stronger than ever. I will keep a close watch for your posts so I can pop on over to cheer you on. Thank you for being so honest with everything that is going on and I will keep you in my daily prayers.
    XO Barbara

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  111. You will be in my prayers Debra! Life is indeed fragile and it is important to make health and relationships a priority, everything else is icing on the cake! Take great care of yourself, keep us updated as you are able. I love that you kept your grandmother's threads, what a sweet and precious memory and keepsake to hold! Blessings, Cindy

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  112. Sending love and prayers your way my dearest.
    Erin
    Xoxo

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  113. I will be praying for you, Debra.... I pray the doctors will make wise decisions and get you well again and on the road to recovery. Blessings to you....

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  114. Hi Debra,
    So sorry to hear all of this. You are so brave and strong!
    Prayers for peace during this time of great transition for you and your family.
    Melin
    xoxo

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  115. Debra, something told me today to look at your page. I am so sorry to hear this and will be praying for you and thinking positive thoughts. I am only a couple hours away from you so don't hesitate if I can help with anything. Please keep us posted.

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  116. Oh, Debra, I've been so busy myself I haven't checked in on you. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this but I will be praying for you. I know our God is mighty and He will see you through this. You just take care of you and we'll all be here for you.
    Blessings,
    Shelia :)

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  117. Dearest Debra
    you are Loved and I know
    God is right there with you guiding you to complete
    wholeness I pray you feel our prayers and are filled with peace
    Love
    Pam

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  118. Dear Debra, my heart goes out to you, know I'm praying for you. I am a prayer warrior. Life has a way of throwing some major issues at us and yes, we are too young. I know God always has a plan. I had a pacemaker implant at 59, 4 years ago and I recently was diagnosed with Wegners, on chemo now. That's okay, I have faith all will be well. I feel your faith. As I'm reading your post, I'm sitting here, thinking about your words and what you have learned over the years, you are so right, God is in charge. You mentioned that you are learning that no experience should be wasted or discounted and that life is indeed a process, love that thought. You also mentioned - there will be answers and justification coming, that inspired me.. Thank you for sharing, I know you don't know me well or at all, but I've been reading your blog for a quite some time, it's wonderful.. By the way, your friend Laura, at White Spray Paint is precious friend of mine. Our husbands are great friends too. We go back a long way, our parents were dear friends. She's a sweetheart. I found out about your great blog from Laura.
    I'll be back to check on you. Take care of you, dear Debra.
    Hugs and blessings,
    Nancy

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  119. Thank you for being so brave and for sharing, Debra. I will be praying for you and your family as you work through this.

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  120. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have enjoyed your blog and have made many discoveries thanks to you. You have inspired me and I have learned so much from you. I wish you strength and healing. Take good care.

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  121. Just sending you a Texas sized hug, and will be adding you to our prayer list.
    Blessings to you. May God continue to provide strength and courage, and later healing to you. He will take such good care of you....all you will need to do is let Him.
    J

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  122. ...you are so loved and supported, as is evident just in this blogging forum! Transitions and life changes are sometimes a little daunting, but you are grounded in your faith and it will be just what you need it to be!
    deepest prayers and thoughts of love and well being to you, dearest Debra!
    xo, Rosemary

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  123. Praying with you Debra!! My dad is headed to Madison in a couple weeks for a lung removal and there will be some reconstruction surrounding his heart also. I hate that you're going through this but your words have been encouraging to me (and I'm going to share them with my mom too). I will check in often to see where you are at in the healing process if you share it. Just know that we are in a hospital room in another state praying for you. Blessings... Polly

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  124. I will keep you in my prayers dear Debra! I trust in HIS plan, I believe that he will heal you and get you back to feeling BETTER! BIG HUGS and continued prayers coming your way!

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  125. Debra my heart goes out to you in this time in your life when we should be enjoying life. It sounds like you are in good hands. Hugs! Linda

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  126. Debra, I have followed your blog for years but the last couple of months have been quite hectic and I am just catching up today. I had open heart surgery 14 years ago for a rare birth defect. I am thankful to have had it and I know that God has His hand on my life, as He does on yours. I live in Houston, very close to the Medical Center - which is world renowned. If you decide you want to come to Houston, you and your husband are welcome to stay with me. I do know this, it is not a fun or easy procedure to recover from. It is painful and uncomfortable - but you can do it. I will be praying for you.

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  127. Debra I have been out of touch for a long time and am just reading this. I need to go back and read. I'm so sorry you've been through so much and hope now that you've found the answers you were looking for and have gotten some help. You have an incredible attitude that encourages me and also makes me ashamed that I have whined and complained about the little things. Thanks for being an inspiration. Take care of yourself.

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