Checking in...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm back home...

image via

and that I'm so glad to be here.

... but, I can safely say that the last few days rank pretty low in the "Fun Ways to Spend Your Week" category.  The heart catheterization and angiogram should be considered successful, in that we found that I did have two major artery blockages that were 99% occluded, and that the only way I was still here was the fact that I had been taking nitroglycerin every few hours since last week just to keep the arteries in my heart dilated. While I'm going through something I never want to talk about how bad it is, but now that it's in the rear view mirror I can look back and say "Holy C_ _p!, that was a close one." (please pardon my French) 

Then on top of the physical trauma of having yet one more stent put in and another artery being "roto-rooted", (too small for a stent) being pumped full of 3 times the normal amount of drugs for the test, pain killers, and every other piece of junk drug they can throw at you, I was sick all day yesterday retching, my body naturally trying to get it all out.

Right now I'm just trying to find my footing in all of this. I've been sitting here this morning at my computer going back through my photo files of the last few years. That always helps me see where I've been and know where I want to be going. Do you know what I mean..? I'm not just talking decorating photos or projects, but where my head and heart are, what I love to be doing, and seeing the priorities in my life. I know it won't take me long until I'm "back". I'm already itching for September when I can safely put out my pumpkins and bittersweet. So I know that "the real me" is still here underneath this "event" that has just happened to me.

I know that so many of us, by the time we reach middle age, have had life altering events, illnesses or tragedies, broken marriages, or family relationship problems. Not many of us are exempt from "life". I know it's all in how we approach it and our mental, emotional and spiritual strength. I know that if it weren't for God's hand of intervention 11 years ago I would have been dead then, so I thank Him every day for the extra time I've been given.

OK, now that I have all that out, I want to say thank you so much for all the love and prayers that came to me from you all. I had tears in my eyes through each sweet and supportive comment. you all are the best. thanks for being there and for your honest care and concern. This may sound superficial and silly in light of all that I've been through, but I never celebrated my 4th blog anniversary and I've had a really wonderful give away planned for quite awhile, so hopefully I can celebrate with you all...hopefully this next week. That might be a good way to get back in the swing of things...a little celebration. I think I can use one about now.

lots of love to you all,

A little Fall inspiration and a Message

Thought I'd share a few images from my Pinterest Boards with you today. I've been going through my magazines and Pinterest looking for some Fall inspiration. I always get excited when Autumn approaches, it always invigorates me mind and body. Since it's a little early for tons of Pumpkins, I found a few others with some apple inspiration instead. If you'd like to repin any of these please browse through my boards,  Fall Decor and Fall Gardens and Porches,to find them there. (Please scroll down to the end of the post first)

Then I have something to share with you...

Those of you who have been with me for awhile may know that I have a hereditary heart condition, and that most of the time I don't have many symptoms or problems. I absolutely hate talking about it here on the blog because in my mind it makes me feel like I'm "old and worn out". I'm not a whiner or a complainer so I put it on the back burner and try to forget about it publicly. But I know deep down that it's just something that I have to deal with, and since I try to be real with you all, not talking about it would be insincere.

The truth is that I have had 3 major heart attacks 10 years ago and open heart surgery when I was an energetic, healthy, and vibrant person. I had no symptoms to speak of other that my stress level was a 15 on a scale of 1-10. Since then I've had another stent put in for a blockage and have an ongoing situation called microvascular disease. This is something that's more common in women which causes high levels of angina, (chest pain) that is a result of smaller vessels not getting good blood flow.

So, now to the present. I noticed a few weeks ago the pain level was increasing, but I thought it might just be due to being more active in the summer, swimming and working in the yard. But over these last ten days my medications haven't been working and now I'm at a place where I have to find out what's going on. I have a high pain threshold and I can outlast an attack that normally would send someone to the ER. (not a good idea).

I'm seeing my cardiologist today and I imagine I'll end up in the hospital for tests and another stent. I'm not worried, because I've been through this before, and I know God is taking care of me and that He is totally in charge of all this. I just needed to tell all of you. And being honest, I need to take a few days to rest. I had my posts done up for the rest of the week, but since I'm not going to cover this up, I felt like I should just postpone things a bit. I'll check in with you when I'm back and let you all know what's going on.

I love you guys, you all are some of the sweetest, dearest people in the world. Your friendships are real and treasured. So I'd sure appreciate your prayers today and this week. You'll hear from me soon.

xoxo,