Sunday, May 12, 2013

Sentiments

I hope you're having a glorious Mother's Day,
and that you've had the opportunity to have spent time with your children.



Last night as we were having dinner with our younger daughter and her husband, in between laughter and our usual lighthearted conversation, memories of her childhood came forth. We reminisced about her youth, and ultimately landed on "parenting skill" differences between my husband's and my generation, to the current trends in parenting.


Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks that God puts before us, and most of us have had to learn as we go. When I had my girls, I was almost 23 and then 27, but unfortunately I had no skill set, nor my husband, on how to do the appropriate job. There weren't any classes to be found at our local church, no internet help videos, few books, and no support groups. As young adults we had to fend for ourselves. As much as we love our own parents, they weren't always any more gifted with wisdom for parenting than we were. Not that we came from "dysfunctional" families, but when it gets down to it, I think most families have their own bouts with dysfunction.




I've made many mistakes with our girls, but thankfully they love me in spite of my faults and lack of knowledge. They were both adults when I finally allowed God to truly lead and transform my thinking in life.

You know the old phrase from that famous movie, "Love means never having to say you're sorry"...well, for lack of a better description, it's a total lie.



Sometimes we have difficulty in putting ourselves in our children's "shoes". We lack sensitivity and insight into their precious mind's and heart's, and in our own frustration and lack of understanding we can make choices that are hurtful and damaging...without our knowing it. One thing God impressed upon me heavily was to be able to admit to my children my own mistakes, and to ask for their forgiveness for ways they might not have felt justified or have been hurt. Their "perception" of circumstances might be very different from our own as parents, but just as valid.



Saying "I'm sorry", has a way of mending broken relationships, and is a good first step to open dialogues, no matter how old your children may be. My husband and I come from a generation where punishment was sometimes physically harsh, and fostered negative feelings for years. Sometimes, an "I love you", needs to be accompanied with the words, "and if I've hurt you in any way, I'm sorry."





That's one of God's great desires for families; that we have relationship with our children and parents, and that we always take the time and effort to see things from their perspectives. The ability to be open and honest with our children is just as important as honesty between spouses. Asking God for His daily leading and guidance can make for better parenting skills and happier families.




If there are voids in your relationships with your children, for whatever reason, I know that God can heal all wounds and hurts. Our Heavenly Father is the best parent we can have. If you as adults, have fractures in your family I'm just reminding you, that God can heal those hurts, and make things right. Even if the other person is unreachable. God has powerful ways to love us, and His love conquers all.




 Our two precious daughters...
love them so much.



Sharing at these parties:

Amaze Me Monday at Dwellings
Wow Us Wednesdays at Savvy Southern Style


Just sharing a little from my heart today and
sending love and Mother's Day blessings,

25 comments:

  1. Nice post!
    Hope you are enjoying a wonderful Mother's Day.

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  2. How beautiful, Debra, and Happy Mother's Day to you.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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  3. I think you are so right. I'm sorry are very important words to remember and should be said. Too often a misunderstanding can stand in the way of what should be a close relationship.
    Hope you have a great Mothers Day.

    Michelle. thebashfulnest.blogspot.com

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  4. Beautiful post Debra! Glad you had a wonderful day!

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  5. Beautiful post and beautiful daughters Debra!

    Happy Mother's Day to you.

    Judy

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  6. Amen, amen, amen!! Beautifully written and wise words!! Your daughters are just lovely. Happy Mothers Day!

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  7. What lovely, transparent words of truth. Happy Mother's Day.

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  8. Happy Mother's Day dear Debra... your daughters are so pretty, just like their mama... I was blessed with such a wonderful mama, she just left for Heaven much too young... 30 years ago and I miss her so... Mother's Day is a hard one for me... but, I know she is always with me, in my heart... and it's a little easier now that my daddy is with her... (but I miss him too!)... thank you for always sharing so much happiness and lovely words and photos... xoxo Julie Marie

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  9. Very Beautiful Debra and Heart felt. Hope you had a wonderful Mom's Day.
    Kris

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  10. Beautiful girls, just like their mama!

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  11. So well said, Debra! Your daughters are lovely! Happy Mother's Day!

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  12. You have such beautiful daughters! And your words show that you are just as lovely inside as out!
    Happy Mother's Day.

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  13. The fact that you wrote this post is telling how much you love your daughters. And yes there are few prefect families. Yor daughters are beautiful. There are a few things I would like to have do overs too. I think that's natural. We're all flawed in some way.

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  14. Each family comes with its own set of dynamics and as you say there isn't a "how-to" manual that can really teach us how to deal with our individual set. Like you I was very young when I had my children...21 & 24...but through God's grace we made it. Mistakes? Let me count the ways, but the funny thing is when I've tried to apologize to my children they look at me like I'm crazy and say "I don't remember that."
    I guess what I'm trying to say is the things we may or may not have done wrong trouble us more than them simply because everything we did we did out of love...and they know it when they're older.
    You're right. "I'm sorry" translates into "I love you"...five of the most powerful words on the planet.
    XO
    Deb

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  15. It takes a lot of courage to admit one's faults. I commend you for doing that. We all have them! There's nothing worse than someone thinking and acting like they know how to do it "better"! I once had a friend like that, and it ruined our friendship. Hope you had a great Mother's Day. Your daughters are beautiful!

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  16. I'm pretty sure I now know what a beauty you were at their age. I see you.

    Bliss

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  17. What beautiful girls. They are lovely like their mom! Hope your day was amazing.
    Blessings,
    Debbie

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  18. Sending love your way! God can heal and for that I am VERY thankful! Your daughters are gorgeous and so are the flowers! Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!

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  19. Your post is wonderful Debra and so right on! Forgiveness and asking for it is so key to our own happiness and keeping our relationships strong. Your daughters are beautiful, just like you! I also have two adult daughters. It is a wonderful thing isn't it? Blessings, Patti

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  20. Debra,
    Beautiful post!!!
    Beautiful daughters!!!
    Happy Mother's Day to you, too, dear friend!!!
    Fondly,
    Pat

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  21. I love this sweet thoughtful post, Debra! It's a hard task...parenting. But very rewarding too :) Your daughters look very happy...hope your day was great!

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  22. your girls are darling, debra!

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  23. Such a beautiful post Debra, full of encouragement and truth! Your girls are beautiful! The girls in our family have just gotten back from spending this week with our mom at the beach, we had such a great time! Thanks so much for sharing at Amaze Me Monday, hope you'll pop over to share at this weeks party!
    Blessings,
    Cindy

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